Page 13 of Shot For Mercy

No matter what he says.

He’smine.

Last night was never supposed to happen, but it fucking did, and now I don’t know what to do with myself or the way I feel. I should’ve never let Cole push me into losing control. Just what is it about him that clouds my judgment? How the hell do I forget all about my son when Cole is in my vicinity? It never used to be this way before he went to prison, but now it’s as if he has a leash wrapped around my neck, and he keeps tugging me along. It’s starting to piss me off. I’m no one’s fucking dog.

Yet, when his hand was wrapped around my cock, I forgot all about that. Hell, I was about to beg, but when he suggested it, I snapped back to reality. The problem is, for just one split second, he made me want to get on my knees for him. And that’s dangerous. I can’t want him that way. When I fall in love with someone, I consume them. I become crazed and obsessed. There’s no way I could do that with the only person in this world who is off limits to me. He’s Matteo’s, and I have no right to take him away. But I just can’t help but notice him now. I never had before. But for the first time ever, I’m seeing him as a man.

I’m noticing how handsome and fucking sexy he looks in those skinny jeans and leather jacket. So unlike me in every way. I wear suits, whereas he dresses down. Where I mostly keep my hair slicked back with gel, he lets his fall over his forehead. Where I’m more reserved until I’m pushed to my limits, he definitely takes what he wants when he wants it. And now he has me in his sights. I’m not stupid. I know he’s not going to give up until he gets what he wants. The problem is that once I have him, it’ll all be over for him. I’ll be a rabid dog who doesn’t want to let go. I’ll be starved for a bite of his flesh. I already am. Which is why I have to stay as far from him as humanly possible, while still living under the same roof.

How the hell do I even do that?

Just the thought of seeing him around Matteo is making my blood boil with jealousy—which makes absolutely no sense. Cole’s not mine, never has been, and never will be. I have to remember how insolent he is, and yet that’s half of the reason why it feels so fucking good to give into him. Even if I know I’ll have to push him away every single time. But that split second of weakness will get me through until the next time he comes back for more.

Fuck.

There should not be a next time.

I can not lose control. If it weren’t for all the sacrifices he’s made for this family, I’d have taught him a lesson or two by now for being a disrespectful little shit. Instead, my cock is getting hard over taunting words and a little thrill.

There’s a knock at the door, three to be exact, before it opens and all four of my brothers stroll in like they own my office. Luca, my right-hand man and soldier, strolls in right along with them. His eyes are wide, and his hands are shaking. I roll my eyes and shake my head at him. He can be so paranoid.

“It’s fine, Luca.” I sigh. “These fuckers were gonna find a way to get past you, anyway.”

He nods once. “Sir.” And disappears from the room.

My brothers all take a seat across from me, making themselves at home, and I lean back in my chair. The high rise I own for Colombo Real Estate is huge, and my office overlooks Manhattan. The floor to ceiling windows are a dream, and sometimes I stay late just to watch the sunset over the New York City skyline. This place is my home, and even the hustle and bustle of the city and all of its noise, has provided comfort to me for decades.

I look at my brothers. Giovanni is facing Lorenzo in his chair, showing me his side profile. Lorenzo, in turn, faces him too, and they’re having some kind of unspoken conversation, because suddenly they both turn toward me. Then there’s Alessandro, the craziest one of us, who is facing me head-on and waiting for me to speak. We’re closest out of all my brothers, and he has to know something is up, considering I haven’t left this office all day. Antonio—Tony—our youngest, clears his throat and raises a single eyebrow at me, daring me to speak.

Giovanni and Lorenzo are closest in age, and they somehow almost look like twins even though they’re not—they’re eleven months apart. Antonio follows closely behind, with being only two years younger than Lorenzo. They’re all still in their twenties, and Alessandro is thirty-four to my thirty-six. Which is probably why I’m closer to him than anyone else. Yet when it comes down to it, we all have each other’s backs. No questions asked.

“Do you bitches need something?” I ask them all, looking from one face to the next, then focusing on Tony. His bright green eyes shine with mirth, as if there’s something he knows that I don’t. “What?” I snap.

“Nothing.” Tony silently laughs, his body shaking with it. “I just never thought I’d see the day.”

“What day?” I frown.

Giovanni chuckles, and I give him my attention now. “The day you became obsessed with someone again.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I snap. “I’m not obsessed with anyone.”

“Bullshit.” Lorenzo chimes in. “You’ve been here all day without letting anyone in. You’re not answering your phone, and you look like you want to punch someone.”

“And that somehow means I’m obsessed with someone?” I frown.

“Did someone die?” Alessandro asks with a smirk, leaning back in his chair and spreading his legs as he gets comfortable. His hazel eyes narrow. “Or are you dying?”

“No.” I shake my head. “But?—”

“No buts,” Tony says, interrupting me. “Tell us what’s really happening.”

I sigh, getting up from my chair and beginning to pace. Their eyes follow me to the windows, where I overlook the city and completely avoid their gazes. I don’t know how they’re going to react to what I’m about to say, but it can’t be good.

“Well?” Alessandro presses, and I huff.

“I fucked up,” I say slowly, my shoulders rising with tension towards my ears. “And I don’t know what to do.”

“Fucked up how?” Tony asks.

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