Page 6 of Shot For Mercy

He sucks in a sharp breath. I’ve never called him that before, though I’ve wanted to. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will,” I reassure him. “Gotta go.”

“Talk soon,” Emiliano grunts, and I hang up without another word.

At the end of the day, I know I did what needed to be done. No matter the consequences, I avenged Matteo. An eye for an eye. I know Andrey didn’t die, considering the firefighters got there quickly, but hopefully, he’s at least badly burned. Hurt. Fucked up. Beyond recognizable.

It’s the least he deserves for fucking with my best friend.

21 YEARS OLD

Thirty-eight months in prison for grand arson, and today is the day I got released. Emiliano didn’t come visit me once. Matteo came weekly. It shouldn’t piss me off this much. I know he has to protect himself. He is Don now, but underneath it all, I’m more upset than angry. I just can’t show how much he hurt me, or I’ll be showing all my cards. No, I need to keep my feelings to myself. It’s not the time to show weakness, not yet. But it is time to claim what’s mine. And Emiliano Colombo will be mine, if it’s the last thing I do.

I wish I could love Matteo the way I know he loves me. And the truth is, maybe once upon a time, I did. But now I realize it must have been puppy love because it doesn’t compare to what I feel for his father. I feel a burning need for Emiliano. I’m fucking obsessed with him, and even after all these years, I haven’t been able to kick it. He’s like a drug I’m being tempted with, and I just know one hit will make it all better. The problem is that even I know one hit will never be enough. I want to own him. I wanthimto ownme,too. Which is why I need to know when to make my move. And it can’t be right now.

The problem is that Matteo and I have been each other’s firsts for a lot of things. First kiss, first fuck. I knew his feelings for me—deep down, I did—and I encouraged it. And now I have to deal with the consequences. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe because at the time I thought I had feelings for him, too. I’m not a piece of shit. I can’t say I regret it now, because I could never regret him, but I do feel like an asshole for leading him on. I’ve always leaned on him like a goddamn crutch. Even while I was in prison, he was the only light in my life. I’ve known what he wants from me, and I really wish I could give it to him. But I just can’t. I don’t know how to let him down easy. The one thing in life that I would never want is to ruin our friendship.

Matteo nurtured me. He was patient and kind. He taught me what love is. He’s the one who held my hand and let me cry in his arms. I just wish there was something I could do to repay him. Instead, now I’m going to break his heart, and it fucking guts me.

Matteo looks at me from the driver’s seat with a glint in his eye, and my stomach drops. What is he thinking about? What is he planning?

“Papà is at the club tonight,” he tells me with a grin. “We can get stupid drunk. I think you need it after all these years.”

I nod and grin right back at him, because that does sound good. It sounds like exactly what I need. “You’re not even old enough to buy alcohol.” I chuckle. “How did you get it?”

“You act like I’m a fucking baby, Cole. I’m only one year younger than you, fucker.” He laughs, pushing my shoulder playfully, keeping his other hand on the steering wheel. “I’m drinking my dad’s liquor. You in or what?”

“He’s going to fucking murder us,” I reply. “That shit is top shelf.”

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “I think he’ll understand. We’re drowning our sorrows.”

“And what sorrows do you even have?” I question, raising an eyebrow at him. But he’s not looking at me anymore, eyes focused on the road instead of me.

“Missing you,” he says nonchalantly, like he’s not stabbing me in the chest with his every word. “It’s been over three years, babe.”

Fuck.

“I missed you too, Matty.”

“Fucking hell.” He laughs. “I’m way too old for that damn nickname.”

“Never too old,” I say with a smirk. “But yeah. Let’s drown our sorrows. I need a drink and a joint.”

“Nothing has ever sounded better.” He grins, and it feels like he won’t stop smiling. It feels good to be missed by someone. I wonder if Em?—

“My room or yours? We can’t drink in the living room. Just in case my dad comes home.”

Oh, yeah. I’m moving in with them now that I’m out of prison. I guess I could’ve gone back to Luca’s house, but it’s better this way. I want to be close to Emiliano, and this is the best excuse. Getting back on my feet.

I roll my eyes. “If your dad gets home, you’ll deal with him.”

He tenses. “I’d rather not.”

“Fine.” I sigh. “Your room.”

He looks at me, a triumphant smile on his face, then turns his head forward once more. Before long, we’re pulling into the parking garage of the penthouse. I’m not sure why he still lives with Emiliano. His dad owns the building, so he could easily get his own apartment. Hell, I might even get my own apartment soon. Then again, living with Emiliano sounds better. Torturing him might be just what the doctor ordered. It’ll help me feel better for sure. Just imagining his face as I walk around in my boxers makes me hard.

We get out of the car and walk to the elevator, entering the penthouse. Matteo quickly snatches a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen cabinet, and we go to his room. It smells like him, and the scent makes my heart beat just a little faster. It’s always been comforting, and suddenly I wonder if I’m making the right choice by not being with him. Then again, I know I always fuck up. It’s what I do.

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