Page 86 of Shot For Mercy

“I have to.” His voice cracks. “You deserve the chance to be with him.”

“I don’t fucking want to be with him!” I yell, getting frustrated. “Can’t you see it’s always been you? It will always be you! I want to marry you. Please, don’t leave me.”

“Cole—”

“No. Please,” I beg again. “Please, don’t do this. If you leave me now, I won’t survive it.”

He’s quiet, but his eyes don’t stray from my face.

“If you leave me, it will all be for nothing.” At this, a tear slips down his cheek. He wipes it angrily, as if it’s offended him. “I won’t be with him either way.”

“Why not?” Emiliano asks, his frown deepening.

“I want to be with you,” I reiterate. “I chooseyou. Always.”

Emiliano makes a tortured sound at the back of his throat and drops his forehead to the mattress, his shoulders shaking. I thread my fingers through his hair and stroke it gently, hoping he can sense how much I love him from one act alone.

“It’s you,” I tell him again. “It will always only ever be you.”

“Are you sure?” he asks me.

“Positive.” I smile, and he must hear it in my voice because he lifts his head and looks at me. He looks defeated, and I fucking hate it. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“Is the wedding still on?” he asks with a soft voice, and I grin.

“Yes, husband.” And I can’t fucking wait. “A spring wedding.”

At this, he does smile.Finally. His tired eyes crinkle in the corners and my stomach flips as if I’m on a rollercoaster.

God, I really love him more than anything.

* * *

It’s been a few days since we came home, and Emiliano has been watching my every move. I’m still weak and bed bound, but at least I’m in my own bed. While the hospital was accommodating, I was eager to get out of there. The only upside to being there was the pain medication, but our doc has me on the good shit, anyway. I’m still in a lot of pain, but it’s dull now. One little detail no one told me about was that my back has over one hundred stitches on it. At least they’re dissolvable. I’m still angry that Sokolov managed to mark me for the rest of my life, that he had the power to do so in the first place, but at least Emiliano doesn’t seem repulsed by it. Instead, he’s been fawning over me as if I can’t do anything on my own. And maybe I really can’t—but I wouldn’t know since I haven’t tried. He’ll have to let me soon enough.

Another little detail I’m not particularly happy about is that I have to wait six weeks for sex, and knowing Emiliano, he’ll force me to wait the full six weeks. He won’t put me in danger, even if I want it so fucking bad. I’ve been so damn horny, and it doesn’t help that he’s looking absolutely edible. A little rugged with the beginnings of a beard, and I fucking love it. He looks like a fucking snack, and I definitely want to devour him. But apparently I won’t be doing that.

I also heard that the reason for my rescue was thanks to Natasha, and here I wanted to kill her. I kind of still do. She’s a shit mom, and Emiliano has been inside of her, which means I hate her on principle alone. But since she technically saved my life, I guess I’ll have to be nice. For Matteo’s sake. Not that he’s around. I haven’t seen him at all since the basement. It’s probably delusional of me to think so, but I thought that after my near death experience, he’d come around to speak to me. And I don’t know? Apologize for how we left things? I don’t fucking know anymore. It hurts that he hasn’t come to see me. Of all the people I wanted by my side during my recovery, he sits high on the list. Oh, who am I kidding? He sits at number two.

That’s probably the only reason I’ve been texting him like crazy. He hasn’t replied to any of my one hundred text messages, and it stings. I know the way things ended between us wasn’t ideal, but I thought being on death’s door would’ve brought him back to me. I just need him back in my life—as a friend. I have to tell him how I feel, and hope that he can forgive me and move on—by my side. I know that’s probably far-fetched. It doesn’t stop me from hoping, though. And hope is a dangerous thing.

Emiliano comes into the room with a frown on his face, and my eyebrows rise all the way to my hairline. I haven’t seen him this upset since we were at the hospital, and I can’t help but wonder?—

“What’s wrong?” I ask him, and he sighs, coming to sit next to me on the bed. I’m sitting up, which is hurting my back, and he looks at me with narrowed eyes.

“You should be lying down.” Em dodges my question, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

I comply, if only to get information out of him and lie down. “Happy?” I grin.

“Much happier,” he says dryly. “Someone’s here to see you.”

My heart begins to pound in my chest as I hear Matteo’s name come from his lips, but I can barely hear anything else he’s saying. My nostrils flare as I take in a deep breath, and my heart rate goes down slightly.

“I trust you, Cole,” Emiliano says softly, a sad look in his eyes. “Don’t make me regret it.”

I shake my head quickly. “I won’t.”

He nods, then exits the room quickly, leaving the door open. I assume Matty is going to come in here now, and my heart begins to beat wildly in my chest all over again.

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