Page 4 of Doc Hollywood

Clara failed the written exam on her first attempt, and Jack had shown sympathy, although she was sure that she had seen a smug glint in his eyes, something that suggested he might be happy that she had failed and wasn’t getting too far in front of him in training.

When he began studying for the same exams, the first thing he did was rifle through all her study notes one weekend while she was at work, helping himself to a huge amount of them. She had asked him about the notes, but he had denied taking anything and yelled so much that to keep the peace, she dropped it and spent the next few weeks redoing the notes he had stolen.

She kept her head down and battled through. Work, study, housework, sleep. The burden of running the household weighed on her, and when she asked him anything simple, like picking up dinner or grabbing something from the shops, he made her feel like the worst girlfriend in the world for asking and that if she hadn’t failed her previous sitting, she would be there to support him like he had supported her during her first attempt at the exam.

Even through her exhaustion, a small part of her screamed with the thought of ‘what help?’ What help had he given her when she sat the first time?

When the next sitting of the exam rolled around, Jack declared that he was ready and wouldn’t it be wonderful if they both sat together and both passed. She had tried talking to him, suggesting that maybe as everyone he had started training with were going to wait for the following sitting, perhaps he shouldtoo. He had scoffed and told her that his study plan had been excellent and he had covered all the work.

When he passed the written exam and got called for a viva, he smirked smugly at her and berated her for doubting him.

They studied hard for the second half of the exam together; Jack was always so sure of himself, so confident that his answers were concise and to the point.

Even then, Clara had a slight niggle at the back of her head anytime he answered something in that cock sure manner of his; the niggle told her he had missed the point entirely of the question, and he wouldn’t get any marks for it.

But he was so arrogant, so sure of his knowledge, that he ignored her advice and that of the consultants who helped the junior doctors prepare for the exam.

And as she had thought might happen, he failed the viva, and Jack’s sour face had stopped her from celebrating her success when she passed that same exam.

Clara carried on through her training, moving into advanced training and heading to a new placement every six months. Some were close to home, and some were far enough away that she had to stay at the hospital.

She could now see the only time she had been happy through that period in her life was when she was away. Because every time she went home, she was met with a house that took her two days to clean and snarls from Jack, telling her how easy she had it now and how the final exams she was facing soon were nothing compared to the hurdle he was trying to jump.

She tried to help him study and was met with so much disdain that finally, whenever she was home, she was silent. She spent her time cooking enough food to keep him stocked up for the next few weeks, making sure he had clean clothes, and filling the pantry with all his preferred snacks.

He burnt through his exam attempts. Number two, he didn’t get to viva. Number three, he failed at viva again. Number four was the worst, as it was the same time that she sat her final exams, and trying to work, study and look after two people was a huge burden. But she passed, and he didn’t.

That time, he threw his textbook at her, and she had to lie at work and say she got a bit tipsy and walked into a doorframe. He was so remorseful and so loving for the next few months that she soon forgot about the awful, bad-tempered man he had become.

Jack had decided to take a break in training and have a few months off to study and centre himself before his fifth and final sitting of the exam. Clara was shocked when he announced he would be going to an expensive retreat in Morocco that promised to heal the mind and the body.

When he told her he had paid for it out of money from their joint account, money that they, actually she, had saved for a house deposit, she had been furious. But again, despite the bruises he left on her arm, somehow, she had ended up apologising to him, and he had gone on his eight-week luxury retreat. When he came back, the joint account was drained, and four years of hard work and savings were gone.

She nearly walked out on him, but he had pulled her back in with promises that he would pass the exam on his last attempt, how much better he felt, and how when she was a consultant the next year, the money she earned now as an anaesthetic fellow would seem minuscule, so she shouldn’t stress about the cash. She should just put her head down and start working for both of them.

He talked so much about how wonderful life would be when he passed, but on his fifth and final attempt, he didn’t even get through the written exam. And just like that, his dreams were gone; he would never be an anaesthetist.

He appealed to the anaesthetic college, demanding another try at the exam. He was so sure it would work, so sure that he was meant to be an anaesthetist.

However, the process of paperwork moved slowly, and while he waited for their response, he refused to work. All he did all day was indulge in his hobbies: running, mountain biking, and his art—which Clara tried hard to like, even though all it looked like to her were splodges of very expensive paint on a very expensive canvas that didn’t resemble anything, and the colours didn’t even work well together.

Home life became a living hell. Any time she walked in the front door, Jack would immediately begin to berate her about the state of the house, or the fact she hadn’t cooked dinner or collected food on the way home or the issue that she was too exhausted to even contemplate touching him and flinched involuntarily every time he tried to be intimate with her. Not that her hesitance stopped him. He would remind her that she owed him intimacy, that it was part of being a good girlfriend and how lucky she was to have such a loving partner who still found her attractive.

Soon, his criticism of her cooking turned into criticism of her eating at all, and she began skipping meals, never allowing a morsel of food to cross her lips in front of him. Anything to stop the snarky comments and ridicule about her weight, which she knew had crept up with the stress of exams and work.

She tried to avoid going home. Volunteering for extra shifts and covering everyone else’s sick leave and annual leave. Despite all the overtime, each month was a struggle to pay the bills.

She spoke to Jack and asked him to cut back on his spending, and he dismissed her, telling her not to be so selfish. That it had been an awful time, and he needed to blow off some steam before his appeal was successful and he got back onto the training programme.

Clara noticed that he was not only putting things on their credit card but also taking out cash to spend, usually hundreds of dollars at a time, if not thousands.

When she got the courage to ask him about it, he snarled and stomped out of the house, leaping into his jeep and pulling out of their driveway, his tires squealing.

That was the first night he didn’t come home, but then it began to happen more and more often. And the sad thing was, she was relieved.

The final nail in the coffin of their relationship happened on a rainy Tuesday.

She went to work as usual, leaving him snoring peacefully in their bed. When she arrived in the operating theatres, she found another anaesthetist in her theatre, and Sadie, who had been working in the hospital for a year as the head of department, had called her to the office.

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