Page 157 of Song of Her Siren

That is hardly a way to live, I thought to myself while hoping things would change if we survived this war.

Helian wrapped an arm around me while leading me up the sandy hill. “What are you thinking?”

I heaved a weary breath. “Everything.”

“Me too,” he said when we reached the top of the dune.

From here, I could see Radnor and Isa curled up with Triss nestled between them. I didn’t have the heart to disturb the happy family and was grateful when Helian laid the blanket on the ground, motioning for me to sit. We sat with our backs to the dragons, facing the sprawling camp made up of our large tent and several smaller ones, along with bonfires interspersed throughout the camp.

I peeled off my slippers, dumping the sand that had found its way inside, its sole purpose to rub my feet raw. Leaning against Helian for warmth, I hugged my knees to my chest, the ocean breeze tickling my nape while I watched the foamy surf roll toward our camp before making a hasty retreat.

Helian loosed a long breath. “They’ll question the legitimacy of our son if we’re not married.”

My breath caught. Was that why he wanted to make me his queen? “Do you want to marry me?”

He turned into me, wrapping a strand of my chestnut hair around his finger. When he looked at me with those luminous eyes, my heart felt like it would beat right out of my chest. “YouknowI do.”

I swallowed at that. It hadn’t even been a few weeks since Helian was prepared to wed another. I reminded myself he’d been coerced to agree to the marriage because he thought he was keeping me safe. Though I was over it now, did that mean I was ready to marry him? But what if I didn’t marry Helian, and Goddess forbid, he was killed in this war? Would our son have no claim to the throne?

Anger heated my veins when I recalled all the times Finn and Ash had been called bastards by King Fachnan and his cronies. I didn’t want that for my son. But how would Ash and Finn react to me marrying Helian? Would they feel left out? Would they think I loved Helian more than them? After the way I had let Helian dominate me most of the night, maybe they already thought that. I remembered them telling me shifters didn’t have marriage ceremonies. They had private mating ceremonies like the one we had on the night we’d first made love. Would that be enough for them?

I worried my bottom lip before asking, “How will Ash and Finn feel about it?”

Helian shook his head, grimacing. “They’ll have to understand.”

Understand what?Ash’s voice projected into my head.

I gave a start when Ash exited our tent and walked up the dune toward us. I’d forgotten about his keen sense of hearing.

Helian threaded his fingers through mine. “You’ll understand if Tari and I get married.”

Ash knelt on the sand in front of us, his brow furrowed as he peered at me with those penetrating, wolfish eyes. “Do you want to marry him?”

“I don’t want anyone to question the legitimacy of our child’s right to the throne.” I winced when the words sounded flat, like I was trying to justify wanting to marry my mate. When Helian squeezed my hand, I felt even guiltier, as if I didn’t deserve his comfort while I was trying to deny my love for him. Why should I have to justify wanting to marry Helian? If I could marry all three of my mates, I would, but I’d already had a mating ceremony with Ash and Finn. I wanted something special with Helian too.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Ash rumbled, his features eclipsed in shadow. “What if legitimacy wasn’t an issue? Would you want to marry him?”

“Yes.” I desperately searched his eyes, worrying Ash would be upset. “I’m sorry.” I looked at Helian when he pressed against me, and it occurred to me that I was apologizing to both of them. Ugh. I loved my mates, but trying to appease two huge male egos was no fun.

Ash scooted closer, holding my other hand. “Why are you sorry?”

Emotion welled up in my throat. “I don’t want you to think I love you less.”

He arched a brow. “Do you?”

“No!” I blurted, startling even myself at the force of my denial.

Ash shrugged. “Then, it’s not an issue.”

I couldn’t believe how well Ash was taking this. “People will think of Helian as my alpha if he is my husband.”

“He protected you from demons when I couldn’t.” Ash released my hand, threading his fingers through his hair with a sigh. “He deserves to be alpha.”

My heart came to a slow, painful stop. I released Helian’s hand, reaching for Ash while not knowing what to say. “Ash.”

“I’m okay with it,” he said, surrender etched into the turn of his mouth and the slope in his shoulders.

I felt like I was staring at a broken Fae. I turned my gaze to Helian, who offered no reassurance, his expression unnaturally stoic. What was happening?

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