Page 2 of Lonely Alpha

Once I got home, I had a message from Dylan saying he’d had a great time and wanted to see me again.

After telling him no thank you, I deleted the app and put my phone to charge in the living room. Architects didn’t really have emergency calls, and my parents had passed years ago, so I didn’t take the phone into the bedroom with me. Loneliness tugged at the center of my chest as I got ready for bed. I turned the sound machine on my bedside table on, hoping it would drown out the thoughts of my mate.

His beauty.

His charm.

The way he kissed me.

The way our bodies melded together, made for each other in every way.

When I decided enough was enough and moved away, mostly to forget him, the pain had been akin to having an amputation. I would always be broken and a fraction of who I was when I was with him.

And it was all his fault.

Chapter Two

William

My alpha abandoned me when I went into the service.

He promised to write but never did. Not one letter or email or any other contact came to me the entire time I was in basic or tech school or overseas. I waited and waited for him to do what he’d said, but as time passed, it became apparent that he had lost interest. I’d even heard from a gossipy friend back home that he might have another boyfriend—although nobody else seemed to know anything about that.

I could have contacted him, but with everything going on in those first weeks and months, we were so busy I kept putting it off. Now, I was pretty sure I hadn’t wanted to be the first one. After all, he’d sworn he’d send so many notes and care packages I’d never even have time to miss him.

The only reason I was separated from him to start with was because we didn’t meet until I’d already signed the papers for my enlistment. But it wasn’t going to be a problem. Hard, yes, but mates were for life. We didn’t do the official deed, the mating and marking on the advice of our pack healers. They said it would be much harder to be apart, possibly even debilitating if we had, so we used every ounce of self-control we had to avoid our official mating. I would be back at the end of my enlistment, ready to begin our life together.

I finally did send a couple of heartfelt letters, not long ago, but they came back marked “no longer at this address,” and I gave up hope. He’d made it pretty clear he did not want to continue to be with me. We were fated mates, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t reject our mating.

I just wished I understood why he would want to. If only we could have a conversation about things. When we parted at the train station, he’d held me so tight, kissed me so hard—I’d had no doubt of his devotion. The whole trip to boot camp, I could feel his arms around me, a memory that would warm me until I recognized the fact that his embrace had not been a temporary goodbye but rather a permanent farewell.

Deployments could feel like a world away from real life, from people and places that had been so real once. Being in a country where many of the locals were grateful to have a tent over their heads, where danger lurked around every corner, I was able to push him out of my mind a good deal of the time. My job was not combat related, but even in an office, we were always aware of the possibility of a bomb landing right on our roof or in the courtyard below.

In this way, I was able to push thoughts of my mate to at least the back of my mind, if not out of it. My job might be at a desk, but it was security related, and therefore I could not afford to be distracted during office hours, which were often longer than indicated.

At night, though, there was nothing to shut out the memories of his warmth and kindness and beautiful eyes as they lit up with laughter. How could this man be the same one who lost interest in me the moment I was out of sight.

Could he be that shallow?

I didn’t think so, but my experience with mates was limited to one. Him.

A couple of times during my deployment, while talking with my dads, I’d asked if they’d seen him around town, but they didn’t think so. Still, our packs were close, and if someone died or had a tragedy happen, I’d have heard…right?

I planned to reup because I had nothing to come home for, but when my omega dad called and asked me to come home and help with a family emergency, I couldn’t say no. Actually, he told me I didn’t need to come, which was his way of saying the opposite. Parents!

The emergency related to their online business, and they wanted my computer skills to help with some hacking problems. I did point out that I could do that from anywhere, but they were only tech to a certain point, and I knew they wouldn’t feel comfortable unless they could look over my shoulder while I worked on things.

First, I thought I’d take a leave—I had a lot saved up—but then I decided it was time to make a life outside the service instead of hovering here until my mate decided he was ready for me.

That made no sense, but loneliness could twist a person’s thinking.

My mate did not want me, and since he had apparently moved away and my fathers hadn’t seen him around, I chose to come home and consider what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

Chapter Three

Lars

The only thing more taxing than ending a months’-long project was starting a new one. The new development was a senior living facility and, while I usually didn’t work on those, this was a big client. One of the biggest we’d had at the firm. He also owned the country club and several other places in town.

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