Page 22 of A Fierce Princess

“The ones on your desk?” I ask. She nods.

“What did I tell you?” she asks.

“That flowers don’t live forever. And when they finish their life, we must let them go,” I repeat.

“That’s right,” she says proudly. “Newton has finished his life. So, we must let him go too.”

“No!” I cry. “I don’t want you to throw Newton away!”

“How about we find him a nice box, and then we can have a funeral for him?” she suggests.

“What’s a funeral?” I ask.

She ponders her answer for a moment. “It’s when you say goodbye to someone you love,” she says.

“Can I kiss Newton goodbye? Won’t he be lonely in the box?” I ask.

“We can put in some things to keep him company and bury him in the rose garden,” she says. “Then you can visit him, and he won’t be lonely.”

“But I want Newton in my room,” I say to her.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but Newton can’t stay in your room with you. It just doesn’t work that way,” she ways.

She opens my closet door and rifles through some packages. She pulls out a small box that held costume jewelry that had been gifted to me. She walks over to Newton and scoops him up in a net and lays him on the soft padding in the box.

“What shall we put with him?” she asks.

I find a small pebble and a coin and place them in the box. I touch him. She puts the lid on and walks me out of the garden where she asks a staff member to dig a hole. I place Newton’s box in the hole, and the man covers it up.

“Would you like to say something about Newton?” she asks.

“I will miss you in my room, Newton. But I promise to come to visit you, every day,” I say.

“Anna?” I hear Auggie’s voice.

A strong hand wraps around my arm. I shake my head.

“Hey,” I hear Logan’s voice in my ear. I turn and his concerned face stares down at me. “Hey, where’d you go?” he asks in a soft voice.

I feel tears well in my eyes as my body trembles.

“Anna, it’s just a fish,” Auggie says. “It’s not like—” He freezes when he suddenly realizes why I’m freaked out. “Newton?” he asks.

I nod. “I’d forgotten…” I trail off as I watch the dead fish float away to its watery grave.

I turn back to see Logan staring at me in both concern and now also confusion. I don’t have time to explain before Auggie does.

“Three weeks before our mom died, Anna’s pet fish died. And then the week before, her bunny, Chomper, died. Anna was petrified of things dying after Mom was killed. It took her a long time to understand that not everything around her was going to die,” he explains. He reaches over and pulls me into a hug. “I got you, Suzy Q. I got you,” he whispers as he presses a kiss to my forehead. “Just breathe.”

I take a few breaths and, eventually, I feel calm again. I lean back and wipe my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I say to them. Pete looks at me with as much concern as Logan had. “I’m OK. I…I think I just had a flashback,” I try to explain.

“Should we…” Logan trails off and looks toward Auggie and Pete. I hold up my hand.

“No, absolutely not. We are finishing fishing,” I say to them.

“Are you sure, Anna?” Pete asks.

“I can take you back to the boat if you like?” Logan offers.

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