Page 40 of Chronicles of a Rockin' Mess

“You know that none of us were really drunk last night,” he says, his voice softening a tinge.

I sigh. “I know…I just…I was being too mother hen-like, I guess,” I say, hoping that sounds realistic.

“Well, maybe you should just apologize and get on with it,” he suggests.

“Yeah, I probably should,” I say, looking anywhere but Harry’s eyes.

“OK, well, I just wanted to make sure everything was cool,” he says as he sits down in a chair. “So, how’s everything going?”

I shrug. I can’t exactly tell him that Lincoln is different and that my crush on him has only intensified with the distance instead of evaporated. I can’t tell him Lincoln constantly asks me questions about me, which he never did before. And I definitely can’t tell him that we kissed last night. And I certainly can’t tell him the kiss was the most amazing kiss ever. I should have learned my lesson after the last time. I internally curse myself.

“It’s good. Lincoln seems calmer than before,” I say.

“Yeah, I don’t know what Lincoln whisperer skills you have, but you have them,” he says with a smile. “I’m glad he seems calmer and happier. I haven’t seen him like that in a while.” His smile turns a bit sad.

“I’m glad he’s happy, too,” I admit. “How’s Amelia?”

“She’s good. She’s back in school right now, but she’ll be joining us before the festival.”

“Cool,” I respond, remembering that Amelia’s new semester of grad school had just started. I look down as my phone buzzes with a message from Ellie.

“Ellie needs my help with something. Have a good show.” He nods, and I head out as their hairstylist comes in to make Harry’s rambunctious locks look sexy.

I make my way through backstage corridors. There are people everywhere preparing for the show. I can hear the familiar muffled roaring of the crowd as they file into the amphitheater. Tonight marks the fourth show of the tour. Three more shows and my contract is up. Three more shows and I can go back to the new life I’ve built in New Orleans. I almost laugh at that though, new life, New Orleans.

I’m not paying attention as I run, scratch that, smack into a body.

“Sorry,” I mumble before looking up. I know who it is before my eyes find his face. I know because I have memorized every freaking inch of this man’s body. So, as soon as my eyes make contact with his torso, I know that it’s Lincoln that I’ve just rammed into in the narrow hallway. I quickly pull myself together and meet his gaze.

“Sorry,” I say a bit louder.

“Everything OK?” he asks, searching my eyes, and I’m not sure if he’s asking if everything is OK between us or if everything for the show is OK.

“Uh, yeah,” I manage, figuring that answer should satisfy either meaning behind his question.

A single finger reaches out and brushes a stray hair away from my cheek. “I think we need to talk,” he says. I shudder.

“I think you need to get ready for the show,” I say to him as I hold up my phone, flashing him the time.

“Fine, we need to talk soon, then,” he says. I know we need to talk, but mostly I need to keep him in line for a few more days. I need to fulfill the promise I made to Kade and Harry. And then, the chips can fall wherever they end up falling.

“Fine, but after the tour,” I say to him. He scratches his head. I look into his eyes, willing him, pleading with him.

“Alright, after the tour,” he agrees.

“Good. Now, go get ready. You must have some rock star thing to do,” I say to him with a sly grin. He laughs and pulls me into a hug, kissing my forehead.

“Thanks, little birdie. I will go be a rockin’ mess,” he says. The tension that I didn’t know I was holding in my shoulders, releases. I feel like we are back on track. We are friends again. I breathe a sigh of relief, but inside, I also feel the pang of regret, regret that I can’t have anything more than his friendship.

Lincoln

I watch as Lark hurries past me and down the hall, weaving in and out of the people milling outside various rooms. The excited rumble of the crowd is palpable in the air as I hear the first opening band go on stage. We have two opening acts tonight. I have to shake my head a little and pinch myself. It seems like just yesterday we were the first opening act, and now we have two freaking bands going on before us.

I watch Lark disappear into a room down the hall. I need to talk to her. I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do or not, but I owe her the truth. She can do what she wants with it. The fact that I have to wait nearly another week to speak to her about this is not going to make things easy.

My phone buzzes and I look down. Celia. I’d been avoiding Celia lately. She’d been cool with the whole Lark thing, but it was still a little awkward. Fine, I’m a total pussy when it comes to women and feelings.

I answer the call. “Hey.”

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