Page 57 of Chronicles of a Rockin' Mess

“Oh, fuck it,” I say exasperatedly as I reach down to the hem of my tank and pull it over my head, exposing my breasts to him. His eyes look down, and I swear the heat from his gaze could melt steel.

He leans down and kisses me hard, before spinning me around and unzipping my skirt. It falls to the floor, leaving me in only my pink thong. He kisses along my shoulder as he walks me over to his mirror. He unbuttons his shirt, and it flutters to the floor. I watch it fall in the mirror, and then I look up at him. He brings his hands around to cup my breasts, rubbing his thumbs over my nipples.

“Look how beautiful you are, my little bird,” he whispers against my hair.

I swallow hard. I should tell him. I should tell him now. I turn around in his arms and look up at him.

“Lincoln…” I start.

He suddenly looks concerned. His hands leave my body and cup my face once again. “Lark, baby, what’s wrong?” he says as his eyes search mine.

“I need to…I should tell you…” I bite my lip.

I know the second he understands. “Fuck,” he says so slowly, it takes a moment for me to understand what he just said.

I blink up at him. “It’s OK,” I say with a sigh and begin to step back, mustering my last shred of dignity.

But strong hands stop me. “No,” he says, urgency in his voice.

John Legend stops singing and the room is completely silent, except for our heavy breathing. Even in the dim light, I can see the rise and fall of his chest.

“Why didn’t you…damn it…I wish…” he stammers, shaking his head.

Then he looks into my eyes. “Are you sure?” he asks me. “We can stop.”

I’m on the precipice of the mountain now. I know it. This is the moment that changes everything. I don’t have time to debate within myself. I remember something Kade said to me…something about “going with my feelings.”

I reach up to touch Lincoln’s cheek. I can feel the energy pulsing between us, and I know this is my destiny. “Yes,” I breathe.

He nods and steps back as he slowly unbuttons his jeans and pulls them along with his boxer briefs down his long legs, kicking off the boots as he does so. He stands before me naked, truly naked, for the first time. His soul is bared to me, and it’s oddly comforting.

“How?” he asks as he looks at me.

I’m momentarily confused, or maybe just distracted.

“Why haven’t you?” he clarifies.

I feel myself turning a deep shade of red. I glance down and close my eyes as mortification seeps through my bones.

“It’s not that I haven’t done things. It’s just…I…there hasn’t been anyone,” I say, dancing around the truth like it’s a pit of snakes. There’s no way I can blurt out the real reason. Because the real reason is now standing naked in front of me. I was saving myself for an impossible dream that is now becoming a very possible reality.

He puts out his hand, one last chance to escape, that’s what he’s offering me. I take a deep breath and place my hand in his. He smiles at me as he walks us to his bed. I look down at it.

His arms come around me, and he pulls me against him, hugging me to his body. I’m momentarily taken aback by this outward display of affection. I slowly wrap my arms around his torso as he places his chin on the top of my head. We stay like that for a few minutes.

“Thank you for trusting me,” he finally says, breaking the silence.

I pull back and look up at him. “You earned it,” I admit. And it’s the truth. He has earned it, again. Why he did what he did before, I may never know, maybe he doesn’t know, but he’s changed. And I love current him more than ever.

He smiles at me, and not one of his patented panty-dropping, made-for-the-stage smiles, but a genuine smile that would make the coldest person’s heart melt into a big puddle.

I glance back at the bed, unsure of what to do next. His hands find my face again, and he kisses me, and suddenly, I forget about everything but his skin against mine. I feel myself getting lowered to the soft satin sheets, and then he pushes us up until my head rests on the pillows.

“Let me make you feel good,” he murmurs against my mouth. I unclench my muscles that I didn’t realize I had been keeping stiff until that very moment.

His tongue proceeds down my neck, to my chest, as he settles himself between my legs. He looks up when his head is mere centimeters from my breasts. He’s giving me one final out. I’m too far gone now. I smile at him, and he grins back at me as his head descends upon my skin.

Lincoln’s a wizard or warlock or something magical because there is no way what he is doing is real. His tongue makes circles around one nipple and then the next. Leaving them wet and cold. The fire of his mouth and coolness of the wind blowing in through his windows has every hair on my body standing at attention, as well as the dark buds atop my breasts. He sucks one into his mouth, nipping at it slightly, just enough that it hardens and lengthens in his mouth. Then he sucks on it so hard, I feel it all the way down in my toes. I moan and shamelessly grind myself against him.

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