Page 24 of Falling for the Quarterback

I haven’t mentioned that part to anyone else, not even EJ or Killer. While they are my best friends, I don’t feel comfortable sharing the details of what’s going on between Lottie and me with them. Especially since it may be a nonissue. She plans on speaking to the dean tomorrow anyway, and that will be that. Over and done, and I’ll need to move on.

A foreign pain jabs me in the heart as I consider the outcome.

EJ continues talking—mostly trash talking as he blows shit up on the screen—but I tune out.

All I can think about is not being around Lottie.

And I don’t like it.

Not one fucking bit.

A loud explosion happens on the screen and EJ rejoices with a, “Take that, asshole!”

But I’m already on my phone tapping out a message to Lottie.

Me: I’m coming over. We need to talk. I’m having trouble with this assignment.

ChapterNine

Charlotte

I stare at my phone.

Should I leave and just not be here when he rings my bell? He says he needs to talk, but nothing good can come of that. I wouldn’t allow any of my other students to show up unannounced at my door.

He’s not just any student, I think testily.

While my mind races with possibilities of what to do and how to handle this conundrum, I’m already in search of a cute outfit. I’m mad at myself for caving so easily. This absolutely can’t happen again. In fact, I should put on my grungiest track pants and a crumpled-up T-shirt. There’s no reason I need to look good for Joel.

My phone buzzes, and as if we somehow share a telepathic link, I see Poppy’s name appear on my screen. How is it that my best friend always seems to sense when I need her most?

“I was just thinking of you,” I state and toss the phone on the bed so I can start undressing.

“Oh? Have you gone to the dean yet?” she asks without preamble. I pause. Why is she asking that?

“Not yet, why?” I pull on a new off-the-shoulder jumper. The temperature here in the mountains has begun to drop and I feel as though I’m in England in the winter.

“Don’t do it. I’ve put a lot of thought into this, and I think you should see where this goes with your hot student.” I freeze again. This is a complete mindfuck. I can’t have my bestie acting like the naughty devil on my shoulder, encouraging me to do something bad.

It would be a lie if I said I didn’t want to be with Joel. But I can’t do it. It’s a no-win situation. Being with him means risking my career. Yet I’ve never felt an attraction so strong that I was willing to risk everything to be with a man.Will I miss out on the potential love of my life if I put an end to things with Joel?

“Sod off,” I snipe miserably. “Seriously, Pops. It’s wrong and we both know it. And you need to be the voice of reason for me.”

She sighs and I know she’s rolling her eyes, which only increases my irritation further.

“I’m serious. I can’t keep doing this with him. My entire reputation is on the line here. No man is worth that,” I explain through gritted teeth, even though I can’t help but think of what I’ll miss.

“But, Lots, what if he’s the one? You don’t want to let this go just because of some drama that won’t even exist in a few more months, do you?” she prods in that persuasive manner of hers. “You’ve never been one to give up without a fight.”

I take a deep breath and consider my next words carefully. “For the sake of argument, let’s just say I decide to continue things with Joel and give this relationship a go. And then someone finds out about the circumstances in which we met last spring. It could ruin my whole academic career and reputation, and then what? I came here to get away from a situation that almost derailed my dreams and I’d be putting myself right back into one.”

I think of how Oliver treated me when we were together. How he verbally abused me and put me down, nearly ruining my self-esteem. How he grabbed my arm during that last fight we had. How I almost fell apart after that. It nearly ended me and my pursuit of my education and career. I had to dig deep inside myself to muster the courage to leave and put myself first. And I did it. I got into the doctoral program in Boston, and I promised myself to never let a man get between me and my career again.

“Joel is not the man who shall not be named. This is different. You talked about this guy for months after meeting him last spring. You two had a connection then and clearly still do. I say, as your best friend, you should get over your worries and just go for it. Screw everything else. Just go for it.”

The doorbell rings and my heart lurches with anticipation because on the other side of that door is Joel. I smooth my hair down and check myself in the mirror.

“Nice talk. Thanks, Pops. I have to go. I’ll ring back later,” I say in one breath, hanging up and walking to my front door. My head spins with each step.

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