Page 71 of Butterfly

“Don’t worry, butterfly. I’ll always do the work for you.”

26

LESLIE

Mason carried my limp body into the bathroom, locking the door.

“Nowyou care about someone seeing me naked?” I asked.

I couldn’t believe him—or what had just happened. I’d fantasized about being fucked by two guys at once since I’d stumbled across it in a romance novel, but I’d never thought it would come true. The fantasy shamed me, even as I got myself off to it.

And Mason had asked, listened, and delivered. Even though he’d hated it.

I have one purpose in life, and that’s making you happy.

At that moment, my heart—which had already wandered to the edge—tripped and fell off the cliff, falling down, down, down.

I was in love with my stepbrother.

I was going to hell.

Unaware of my thoughts, Mason set me on the sink and tilted my chin to look up at him. “Do you think I was kidding when Isaid that was your only time with someone else—ever? I wanted to show you that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Not what you crave, and not being with me. You’re beautiful, and desirable, and Emory has no issues with us together—he thinks it’s hot. People will be okay with us in time, butterfly, I promise.”

I started to protest, but he put a finger to my lips. “Just think about it, okay? There’s nothing to worry about. I’ll take care of you.”

With that, he started the shower, fiddling with the knobs and testing it on his inner wrist like I deserved the care a baby did. Once he was satisfied with the temperature, he returned to me, lifting me back up and carrying me into the shower. He slowly and gently washed me, paying special attention to where Emory had come on my breasts.

“Gotta get him off you,” he muttered.

I was exhausted. My body was wrung out with pleasure, my brain was burned out on confusion and uncertainty. I didn’t want to have to make big decisions, or fight him, or argue with him, or argue with myself. I didn’t want to do a school project, or try to act normal—whatever the hell that meant. What I wanted was to collapse in bed and sleep for a year. And I wanted Mason’s big body wrapped around mine, protecting me from everything and blocking out the world, when I did.

I loved him. The joy in it scared me shitless.

“If you’re so annoyed about it, why did you let him in the first place?” I asked.

Mason paused. “Besides you wanting it? I need you to realize how desirable you are. I know that all the bullying I did this summer did a number on you, but you need to know, butterfly…” his throat worked. “…There’s nothing more desirable in the world than you. You’re perfect to me, and nothing you do will ever change that. I need you. I’ve always needed you, since I first laid eyes on you. I love you, Leslie.”

My heart stuttered at his words, and then it was like it leapt out of my chest and hovered between us, uncertain of where to go next.

It was one thing for me to love him, unrequited. In a way, that was safer. The certainty of heartbreak was almost preferable to the uncertainty of our future. What if I finally got everything I’d never known I wanted, only to have to give it up?

Mason loved me?

He couldn’t love me.

Was this what love was, for him? Possession, obsession, the need for control, dominance, and an unwavering determination to do whatever he needed to have me? If that’s what love was, it scared me.

But maybe for Mason, love also meant care. Learning to make my favorite foods, even though he’d never cooked a day in his life. Carrying me around so I was safe in his arms. Giving me experiences I’d been afraid to want. Protecting me from harm. It wasn’t a safe version of love, but maybe it was love, all the same.

“No response?” he asked lightly, but his eyes told a different story. I’d never seen him look vulnerable before. And just like that, my heart fell directly into his hands.

“I don’t forgive you for what you did,” I told him.

“I know,” he said. “And like I told you—I’m not sorry for keeping you safe. But I am sorry for making you feel like your feelings don’t matter. Nothing matters more.”

“I’m scared,” I admitted.

“Then trust me,” he said, tilting my chin up so I was forced to look directly in his eyes. “I promise I will do everything in my power to destroy anything and everything that scares you, butterfly.”

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