Page 140 of King of Envy

“As well as can be expected,” Richard said. “Margot’s with him right now.” Margot was Jordan’s mother.

“What about Orla?” I was surprised his grandmother wasn’t here too. She’d basically raised Jordan while his mother was busy with her string of lovers and his father was off traveling the world.

“She was here when he woke up, but she can’t exert herself too much for too long.” Richard pushed his hands into his pockets. “She fell on Friday. We moved her into a suite down the hall.”

My guilt compounded. I wasn’t close with Jordan’s family, but he cared about them, and I cared abouthim. Rationally, I couldn’t have known about his grandmother’s fall unless the Fords told me, which they hadn’t. Still, I couldn’t help agonizing over the fact I’d been playing Pictionary on Friday while Orla was in the hospital.

The door opened, and Margot stepped out.

We exchanged a cool greeting before I walked around her and entered Jordan’s room.

His mother was the Ford who liked me the least. I wasn’t sure why, but the feeling was mutual. She was about as warm and fuzzy as a frozen porcupine.

Despite their dysfunction, the Fords had splurged on the best recovery suite for their son. With its state-of-the-art TV and chic decor, it looked more like a hotel than a hospital room, but I ignored the fancy trappings and focused on the man smiling at me. It was a weak smile, but it was a smile nonetheless.

“Hey, MOTY,” Jordan said.

“I’ve told you that is not a cute nickname.” I approached his bedside, my heart clenching at how pale and thin he looked. But he was alive, conscious, and coherent. That was what mattered. “If you think it is, I’m calling the doctor to check your brain.”

His laugh rattled in his lungs. He coughed before saying, “My mother told me you were in D.C. You didn’t have to rush back up the same day. I’m alive, not dying.”

“Of course I did.” I squeezed his hand. “What did you think I was going to do instead? Laze around my parents’ house while you watched daytime TV in the hospital by yourself?”

“I hate daytime TV.”

“Exactly.”

Jordan laughed again, but the sound soon faded beneath his sober expression. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been okay.”Better than I should’ve been considering you were in here.I swallowed past a knot in my throat. “I should ask you that question. When I saw you at the church after—after what happened, I thought…”

“I know. Me too,” he said quietly. He released my hand and swiped his over his face. “What a wild fucking day. I heard it was some sort of gang turf war gone wrong?”

“Something like that.”

Jordan had to know about the Brotherhood if he’d lent Vuk the money to pay them off, but I wasn’t surehowmuch he knew. It wasn’t my secret, so I didn’t feel comfortable correcting him. The truth was up to Vuk to disclose or hide.

“Of all the weddings in all the world, it had to be ours,” he said humorlessly. “If that isn’t a sign from the universe, I don’t know what is.”

Indeed. I wasn’t a very superstitious person, but it was hard not to take your fiancé of convenience nearly dying at the altar personally.

My engagement ring winked beneath the fluorescent lights. I’d remembered to put it on again before I left, and the weight of it felt like a dozen boulders strapped to my finger.

I shouldn’t force Jordan into a hard conversation after he just woke up, but it wasn’t fair to drag things out when I’d already made up my mind. I’d shoved my pre-wedding feelings aside for the sake of practicality, and look where that got us.

If I’d listened to my heart and called off the ceremony instead of trying to push through it, we wouldn’t have been at the church, and Jordan wouldn’t have gotten shot.

Concrete sludge poured into my stomach. I forced my mind off my escalating nerves and onto the task at hand. “Actually, since we’re on the subject, I have something to tell you.”

“Wait. Let me go first. Please.” Jordan took a deep breath. “I’d hoped to have this conversation later, when I was out of the hospital and we’d had more time to…process, but we’ve always been honest with each other, right?”

The sludge solidified into granite. “Right.” I managed a feeble smile.I am so going to hell.

“So.” He coughed again. “We made our pact almost two years ago. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. We’d both get what we wanted. Marriage didn’t seem so bad when we were already friends, and people would finally stop asking me when I’d settle down. I thought it would be like having a roommate, you know? Totally doable. But the closer we got to the wedding, the more I got…I don’t know. Not cold feet. Butdoubts. Small ones. Easy to brush off. Who cared if I had to pretend to be in love for five years? People in our circle do that all the time. Who cared if my family didn’treallyknow me? They’re not around much anyway. Then something happened before the ceremony that almost made me rethink things, but I didn’t. Because of pride, ego, saving face. Whatever.” This time, his laugh was laced with bitterness. “I got shot an hour later. Like I said, the universe isn’t subtle. I should’ve listened to my gut in the first place.”

His words whirled through my brain. It sounded like…but no, he couldn’t…but what if…

“What are you saying?” I held a bracing breath against his reply.

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