I need to be alone for a while.
Her words clawed at my stomach, deeper than fear, deeper than regret. They shredded me from the inside out, and there was nothing I could do to stop the bleeding.
I need to be alone for a while.
The echoes haunted me as doggedly as the sight of her tears. I should’ve known it would come to this. Some secrets couldn’t stay buried forever, and mine were more egregious than most.
I could’ve lied, but that would’ve been a Band-Aid, not a solution. Ayana and I hadn’t defined our relationship yet. If and when we did, I wanted her to know exactly what she was getting herself into.
No matter how much I wished I could be the good, gentle man she deserved, I couldn’t. I was who I was, a monster forged by nature and circumstance. I couldn’t destroy the darkness in me any more than a leopard could change its spots, and I would never apologize for exacting vengeance on those who deserved it.
But if she decided to walk away, then?—
A fist collided with my jaw. My head snapped to the left, and the tang of liquid copper flooded my mouth. I spat it out, my ears ringing.
“You’re distracted.” Dante tsked. His eyes held a touch of amusement. “I don’t suppose it has anything to do with a certain model I saw running out of the club yesterday.”
A growl rumbled in my chest. I landed a direct jab, and he absorbed the hit with a pained grunt.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said.
I attacked again. I was beyond caring whether I won or lost at this point. I just needed to punch something, and Dante was as good a target as any.
Sweat poured down my face and into my eyes. My muscles were wound so tight, they felt like they were going to snap.
I need to be alone for a while.
That could be days, weeks, or months. It could be forever. The uncertainty of it all gnawed at me with poison-tipped teeth, as did the reason behind the Brotherhood’s actions.
What did sending her those photos accomplish besides driving her away from me? Why would they care if we were together or not? If anything, they should want us closer—that would give them more leverage over me. Or maybe their goal was to throw me off-balance. Distract me with my relationship troubles so I would be more vulnerable to another attack.
My phone’s telltale ring cut through the cacophony of my thoughts. I called a time-out so I could answer.
Normally, I’d ignore it and keep going, but it might be Ayana. It was unlikely, given less than twenty-four hours had passed since our last conversation, but a man could hope.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Ayana; it was Sean. And he was calling, which was never a good sign.
I picked it up, listened—and for the second time that week, my world exploded into pieces.
* * *
“How thefuckdid this happen?” The snarl that tore out of my throat was positively feral.
Sean didn’t flinch, but his grim expression betrayed his worry. “We sent one person to her building after you called me yesterday, but we don’t have eyes on her when she’s not home. As you instructed, we’d planned on keeping a full-time guard with her starting today, but it was already too late.” His jaw tightened. “This was my oversight, and I take full responsibility.”
We were at my office in Valhalla. I’d left the boxing gym and had Sean meet me here immediately after he called to tell me Ayana was missing.
Missing.
My stomach sloshed with acid.
The guard I’d stationed at Ayana’s building alerted Sean this morning that she hadn’t gone home last night, which was almost unheard of for her. A quick check with her friends revealed no one had heard from her since yesterday afternoon. She couldn’t have gone on a trip, since she would’ve needed to go home after Valhalla to pack.
That was when Sean suspected something was amiss and called me.
Rage shimmered beneath a slick coat of panic. It’d been twenty-two hours since she was last seen, and I wanted to burn the city to the ground until I found her.
“We were able to access Valhalla’s security footage and get the license plate of the cab she took after leaving the club,” Sean said. “We tracked the driver down. He remembered her and said he dropped her off in SoHo. We pulled the surveillance footage from around her drop-off spot and saw her enter and exit a nearby café.”