Page 99 of King of Envy

How could I explain my situation to him? I was already in too deep. The wedding was intwo weeks. As much as I wanted Vuk, I couldn’t leave Jordan high and dry like that. I’d signed a contract, I’d made a promise, and I owed him.

But…maybe there was a way I could be with Jordan in public and Vuk in private.

Vuk dropped my wrist and stepped back. He signed his response.Then help me understand.

He’d turned aloof again. Remote. How had the situation changed so fast? His visit was a rollercoaster of emotions, and I couldn’t keep up.

I straightened and fixed myself up while I tried to gather my thoughts into some semblance of coherence.

“I…” I faltered.

I couldn’t tell him about my arrangement with Jordan. It was Jordan’s secret more than mine, and I wasn’t going to share it without his permission.

Even if I went back on my word and canceled the wedding, what good would that do? I’d need Vuk’s help to get out of my contract with Beaumont, which meant I’d be trading one debt for another.

I trusted Vuk. He would help me, and I didn’t believe he would hold that assistance over my head. But it would still be a power imbalance, and I refused to ask someone else to swoop in and take care of my problems. That was what had landed me with Beaumont in the first place.

At least with Jordan, it was a mutually beneficial agreement. He needed me as much as I needed him.

I had to solve my dilemma on my own. I owed myself that much.

“Jordan and I have an understanding,” I finally said. “We’re not in love with each other, but we agreed we could…see other people…” I trailed off again at the storm gathering in Vuk’s eyes.

“If you’re not in love, then why the fuck are you getting married?” he asked.

I released a shaky breath. “I can’t tell you, but thereisa reason. I promise.”

I hated this. I knew we’d have to have this conversation eventually, but it was even harder than I’d imagined.

The worst part was, I understood where Vuk was coming from. If I were in his place, I’d be confused and pissed too.

I was the one who went to him after the Wentworth incident. I all but asked him to kiss me at Valhalla, and I’d invited him to ahotelbefore my wedding. Of course he thought I would call things off with Jordan.

Guilt shimmered beneath a slick coat of misery.

I’d allowed myself to be selfish for once, but that was the thing about doing what you wanted—the high didn’t prepare you for the inevitable crash.

“So you’re talking about an affair.” Vuk’s voice went soft again. This time, there was no gentleness, only derision. “Is that why you asked me here? To see if I fucked good enough for you to keep me on the side while you live out your high society dreams with Jordan?”

“No!” Tears stung my eyes. “That’s not why. I wantyou.”

“But you won’t leave Jordan.”

“I can’t,” I repeated brokenly.

A tear escaped and slid down my cheek. Vuk tracked it with his eyes, his jaw hardening into steel.

Beneath his icy demeanor was something worse than derision:hurt. And I was the one who put it there.

Grief cinched my chest. I couldn’t draw in enough air to battle the overwhelming tide of self-loathing, so I stood there, my face wet with regret, while Vuk’s head dipped toward mine again.

“There’s one thing you should know about me, Ayana,” he said, his breath grazing my ear. “I. Don’t. Share.”

Then he was gone.

The door slammed, and I was left all alone in the cold again.

CHAPTER27

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