Page 16 of Rainshadow Road

“It’s me.” Lucy took a shallow breath. “Is Kevin there with you?”

“Yes.”

Silence.

It was a different kind of silence than they had ever shared before. Choking, chilling. Lucy had practiced many ways to have this conversation, but now that it was here, she couldn’t get the words out.

Alice spoke first. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

Lucy found refuge in anger, clinging to it like a survivor with a life preserver.Supposedto say? “You could tell me why you did it,” she said.

“It just happened. Neither of us had any control over it.”

“You may not have been able to control your feelings,” Lucy said, “but you could have controlled your actions.”

“I know. I know everything you’re going to say. And I know it doesn’t help for me to say I’m sorry, but I am.”

“Alice. Every time in your life that you’ve said ‘I’m sorry,’ to me, I’ve always said it was okay. But this is not okay. It will never be okay. How long have you been doing it?”

“You mean how long have we been dating, or—”

“Having sex. When did you start having sex?”

“A few months. Since Christmas.”

“Since—” Lucy broke off. There wasn’t enough air in the room. She was breathing like a landed fish.

“We haven’t gotten together all that often,” Alice said quickly. “It was hard to find the time to—”

“To sneak around behind my back?”

“Kevin and I should have handled this differently. But I didn’t take anything away from you, Lucy. You and Kevin had grown apart. It was obvious things weren’t going well between you.”

“It wasn’t obvious to me. We’d been together for two years. We shared a house. We had sex just last week. So from my perspective, things were going pretty fucking well.”

The word didn’t come easily to Lucy—she wasn’t one of those people who could swear naturally. But it felt good to say it right now. Appropriate to the occasion. And she could tell from Alice’s silence that she hadn’t thought Lucy and Kevin were still sleeping together.

“What do you expect is going to happen now?” Lucy asked. “Am I supposed to forgive you, and forget all about my relationship with Kevin, and make small talk with the two of you during family get-togethers?”

“I know it will take time before that can happen.”

“It won’t take time. No amount of time would be enough. You’ve done more than break my heart, Alice. You’ve broken our family. What’s supposed to happen now? Was it really worth it to steal my boyfriend?”

“Kevin and I love each other.”

“Kevin only loves himself. And if he cheated on me, don’t you think he would do the same to you? Do you think anything good can come of a relationship that started this way?”

“He has a different relationship with me than he did with you.”

“Based on what?”

“I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

“I’m asking, what is the difference? Why you and not me?”

“Kevin wants someone he can be himself with. You’re so perfect, Lucy. You have standards that no one can live up to. Except, apparently, you.”

“I never said I was perfect,” Lucy said unsteadily.

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