Page 41 of Emerald

The cave's tunnels stretch on into the darkness, winding and twisting in ways that are still a mystery to me.

Time to explore.

And possibly die. One and done, I think, inanely.

The tunnel ahead is dark, but the mushrooms provide a soft, warm glow, enough to see by. Kroaicho probably thinks I'm sitting quietly in the cave, sulking or something. He has no idea I'm about to defy its orders entirely. Good. I need this. I need to prove I'm capable, even if it's just to myself.

As I descend deeper into the cave system, I notice the strange, otherworldly beauty all around me. The walls are coated in a thin layer of glowing moss, its bioluminescence casting eerie patterns of light across the stone. Overhead, small, worm-like creatures cling to the ceiling, their soft blue glow reminiscent of stars in a night sky. I stop for a moment, mesmerized by the sight. It's beautiful—almost serene, like the universe has folded itself into this tiny space.

Further in, the tunnel opens up into a wide cavern with a shallow pool of water at its center. I kneel at the edge of the pool and dip my fingers into the water, watching as eyeless, pale aquatic creatures swim just beneath the surface. Their ghostly forms glide through the water, and for a moment, I forget the chaos in my mind. It's peaceful down here.

My thoughts begin to slow, my breathing evens out, and I feel a strange sense of calm wash over me. Maybe Kroaicho was right about this cave not being safe, but it’s beautiful in its own way nonetheless. I take in the beauty around me—the glowing mushrooms sprouting from the walls, the soft hum of the cave's natural rhythm. Everything here feels alive, pulsing with a quiet, ancient energy.

There is a warm feeling inside me. Happiness? When was the last time I felt that? After almost losing my head just now? Typical.

I let out a small, disbelieving laugh. It's been so long since I felt anything resembling joy, but down here, in this alien world, surrounded by these strange and wondrous things… I guess I do feel a little bit of happiness. It's like a tiny ember that's been hiding beneath all the anger and frustration.

I let my mind wander, leaning back against the cool stone wall. I close my eyes, letting the memories flood in.

The crash. The genali attack. Rin.

My siblings. God, they were cruel sometimes. Always treating me like I didn't belong, like I wasn't good enough. Anger bubbles up again. They never understood me. They never tried to. Everything I did was wrong in their eyes, and I was always the odd one out. Even now, trapped on an alien planet, I'm still fighting that same feeling.

Then, my thoughts drift to my mother. I wonder what she'd think of all this—of me being stranded on an alien planet, of Kroaicho and its constant attempts to keep me contained. Would she be proud? Or would she be scared for me?

She's probably glad to be rid of me.

I sigh and open my eyes, staring up at the cave ceiling again. The glowworms above seem to pulse in time with my thoughts. And as I sit here, surrounded by the quiet beauty of this place, I realize something important.

For the first time in a long while, I feel… lighter.

But I can't stay here forever. Eventually, I'll have to face Kroaicho again, and when I do, I'll be ready. Maybe I'll even try to explain things from my perspective, in a way it can understand. Because as much as I hate being confined, I can't deny that its intentions aren't… all bad. It's just… different. Alien.

I mean, completely fucked up, but I get the impression that it doesn’t know what to do with me.

Everyone always wants something, I remind myself.

Then I let out a long sigh. I might need to let that go. Or at least the version I had of it before.

I’ve railed against materialism from the first time someone explained the concept and it was obvious how much it has affected my life. Just how much it was the reason for so much of the pain and anger of being shifted from one place to the next as my mum talked about me like I was some broken vase that just needed money thrown at it.

All my siblings seem to talk about is money and when they’ll get what they are owed. If I never see another tax document it will be too soon.

But the whole concept doesn’t seem to apply to how Kroaicho thinks. Nothing about what it has said suggests there is a system of exchange. What does it keep saying?

Treasure, stories, gathering, and protecting. Shockingly simple and I keep waiting to catch it out on the lie… but it remains consistent. Like there is a beauty there that I can’t see and a story I don’t know.

Its motivation still doesn’t make sense, but I have to admit that whatever it is, exactly, isn’t my world enemy materialism.

That doesn’t excuse the fact that it still sees me as an object.

I stand up, stretch my legs, and start making my way back toward the main cave. For once, I'm calm. Ready. Whatever comes next, I'll face it head-on. I'm done hiding. Done being locked away.

Done being treated like less.

And if Kroaicho thinks it can stop me from taking control of my own life, the overgrown flesh flare is in for a surprise.

13

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