Page 4 of Pack Giroux

Her eyes narrow like she's thinking on something before she asks, "In that case, think you could trust me?"

"Sure," I tell her. I'm a little anxious since her hair is so short, and I certainly don't want that. Honestly, though, it's just hair and it'll grow back. Pulling the tie out of my hair and letting it flow down in its unruly mess, I grimace at her, knowing she's got her work cut out for her.

Her eyes go wide, "Wow, that's a lot of hair."

"I've never had it cut," I tell her honestly, expecting judgement and getting the exact opposite.

"Are you serious?" she asks, amazed. Even going as far as to call everyone else's attention to it. They then oh and ah over it, too.

After the new wears off, she sets to work as she chats away with the other girls. Sometimes she includes me in the conversation and tries to get me to talk about myself, but I avoid that as much as possible. My obvious changing of the subject or short answers doesn't bother her in the least. As someone completely comfortable in their element, she carries the conversation no matter which way it steers. All while working magic on my hair.

I hold my breath as she takes the scissors to the first few pieces and I watch huge chunks fall to the floor. After there looks to be more hair on the floor than on my head, she brings out some liquid, stirring it until she's satisfied it's mixed well enough. Then she does the strangest thing with aluminum foil, and by the time that she's done, I look like I'm wearing an oddly shaped foil hat. She puts me in a different chair with a dome that closes over the top of my head. The warmth feels good and makes talking impossible as I can't hear the conversation now.

My heart feels heavy as I watch her sweep up my hair off the floor. Those strands have always been a small part of who I am. Since birth, they've been with me. But then, I was never given the choice on that. We weren't allowed to cut our hair at all. God help the couple people who thought it'd be cute to try when we were younger. Of course, that rule never applied to the boys. They could cut theirs, along with wearing pants. By the time the dome shuts off, I'm no longer sad about the missing hair. I'm ecstatic and can't wait to see the final result.

One that I don't have to wait for. Catherine turns me so that I can't see myself in the mirror as she removes the tiny foil pieces out of my hair before walking me over to the chair at the sink. She carries on talking to one of the other girls as she lays me back, hair in the sink. I swear to all that's holy, I feel like I've actually died and gone to heaven when she brings a sprayer of warm water to my head and starts rinsing out my hair. Thefeel of her hands running through my hair added to the sweet scent of the shampoo mixing with her subtle-citrus beta scent is enough to have me almost falling asleep. I never knew that simply having your hair washed by another person could feel this good.

It ends all too soon, and we're back in the normal chair with her towel drying my hair. I get a quick glimpse of what she's done, and a small smile forms on my lips.

"I was hoping to keep it a surprise, but there's only so much I can hide in front of the mirror," Catherine says as she catches it. "What do you think so far?"

"It's great," I tell her honestly.

She beams at me. "Just wait until we're done then."

I quickly learn that she's not lying as she blow dries it and the small amount of blonde color that she has added to my natural auburn starts to stand out. I'm already in love with it before she stands in front of me and takes the comb and scissors to the front. When she moves and starts fluffing it out with her fingers, my jaw drops open. She's cut it all the way to my shoulders and given me bangs. I don't know that I would've picked the style out for myself, but I absolutely love it looking at myself in the mirror. I'm so much the same person as I am looking different.

"What do you think?" she asks, watching me in my state of shock and worrying her bottom lip.

"It's amazing," I tell her a little breathlessly. "I love it."

She claps her hands and spins me around to face the room.

"Oh my God, Cat," one of the other girl’s states. "She looks fantastic."

Accepting the other praises, she turns back to me with a bright smile that I can't help but return. "Let's go finish up front."

Pushing some buttons on her touch-screen computer, she prints out a tiny slip of paper and explains the charges to me. I pay her and leave twenty-five dollars in the tip spot. The only reason I know what that is for is because I listened to the other girls when they were leaving and paying. I'm sure that I'm leaving more than I'm supposed to, but I think it's worth it. I should probably leave her more for how good she's made me feel.

After thanking her multiple times, I step back out on the street where the sun is slowly setting, creating beautiful colors in the sky. I debate for a minute or two on whether I want to call it a day and come back out tomorrow so that I'm not walking in the dark back to campus. However, the thought of the mattress flickers across my mind, and I know that I have no choice but to go to the next store and get sheets at the very least.

Hefting my bags up on my shoulder, I take off at a brisk walk toward the store. By the time that I make it there, it's still light out as I go inside. This store is huge and seems to be the place that everyone shops considering it's packed with people. Grabbing a cart at the front, I set my bags down in it, slowly making my way around.

I come across the toy aisles and am amazed that there are so many to choose from. At the compound, the babies and littles are only given things that we've made with our own two hands, which doesn't leave a whole lot of options. In here, there are games and dolls and cars and bikes. Oh, to be a kid out in the world like this and not stuck on the grounds of the compound.

Tears fill my eyes quickly spilling over. I wipe them away angrily, knowing good and well that I can't do anything by myself to save them from it. Moving away from that section as fast as possible, I almost walk right by the pillows and sheets. I have to take a few steps backward to turn my cart into the aisle.

There are a lot of choices here, too, but it doesn't take longto find a cheap set of plain, white sheets with tiny black dogs on them and a thick pillow. Honestly, I think about buying about four of those, but I'd never be able to get them home with me. Which is the same reason that I want to get a couple snack foods, but won't be. I can only carry so much.

I curse it all to hell as I find the sports section. I need a lot more than I thought about needing, and still wouldn't be able to carry it all. Tomorrow is definitely going to bring about another trip out here. It makes me sad, but I leave without getting anything from there. Volleyball is the only reason I was able to escape. I will always be grateful and give it a hundred and ten percent.

My heart lightens some when I come across the soap and shampoo. It takes me an embarrassing amount of time to pick the one that I want. I find myself comparing them all to the goat-milk things that we make and use at the compound. When I come across one that smells exactly the same, there's a forbidden thought of throwing it against the wall. It makes my stomach churn.

Finding a sweet, coconut-scented shampoo and conditioner, I search out a soap that matches close enough and put them all in the cart. As I peruse the aisles, I add a toothbrush and toothpaste. Also, toilet paper and deodorant go in. Typically, we didn't use deodorant, but the sports teams were always an exception. I've always wondered why the people in charge allowed sports at all since it gave us a small amount of freedom into the world. We had compound chaperones, but we still got that glimpse into the real world every time we played away games.

Strolling past the makeup, I don't even stop to look twice at it. I wouldn't know what to do with any of it, even if I wanted to. I do, however, grab a brush, some new hair ties, and a few clips.

Figuring that I have enough to make it until tomorrow, I head back up toward the front, skidding to a stop as I pass towels sitting on the end of an aisle. It may not be a bad idea to make a list for later, because I didn't even think about towels and wash rags. I only take one towel for now and a small pack of four rags before continuing on my mission.

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