Page 20 of The One Before

Cooper pulled away. He tugged a nearby dandelion out of the grass, flicked off the bud and threw it in the water. He watched it float, then sink. That’s how he felt. Like he was sinking. When he was around Celia, he didn’t know what he wanted. Couldn’t tell what was true and what was a lie. He was sick of feeling like he wasn’t in control.

“I’m not settling down with someone the whole town calls a cheater.”

“Who gives a shit what this town thinks?”

“I do. I like it here. My family is important. You need to change the way you treat people. It sends the wrong message.”

“Oh, Cooper.” Celia leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I’m not some ball of clay you can mold into your liking. I know your family has brainwashed you into thinking you’re important because you’re a Douglas, but don’t you forget, I’m special too. I’m Celia Gray.”

Cooper rolled his eyes. “Stop deflecting, Celia.” Usually he thought her attitude was cute, but right now he was annoyed. Whatever she was trying to pull, it wasn’t going to work this time. “I’m getting tired of your games.”

He wanted to say more but stopped when he heard footsteps. They both turned to see who had joined them on the dock.

Thirteen

Madison

We remain silent until we arrive home. The confines of Coop’s car aren’t the right place to revisit such a claustrophobic topic. My attempts to ask earlier came off as another accusation. Coop doesn’t like talking about Celia, and I oblige him by not bringing it up, not picking at his life’s greatest tragedy. But there’s another layer to this situation now, it seems, and I’m not prepared to live in Whisper Falls without knowing all the details.

Coop returns from the bedroom having changed into a T-shirt and sweatpants. I’m sitting by the fire, my jacket still on and my arms crossed.

“I’m sorry what Bridgette said upset you this much,” he says, sitting beside me.

“Of course it upset me,” I say. “Accidents happen. Tragic deaths happen. But for people to accuse you of a crime—”

“Bridgette was one of Celia’s friends. Used to be one of my friends, too. After her death everything became so divided.” He looks away, as though the sight of me hurts him. “It was the darkest time in my life. I couldn’t even mourn Celia without being labeled a murderer. I don’t like to talk about it.”

“That’s understandable,” I say, reaching my hand out to touch his. “But I’m here now. I can’t stand walking into a room and thinking people know something about you I don’t.”

“Fair enough.” He nods, pulling away his hand so he can prop both elbows on his knees. “You know, I think if Celia’s body had been found the same day she drowned, the rumor would have never been started. It was the days while she was still missing that created all this nonsense. It gave people time to make their own theories. Too much time.”

“How long did it take to find her?”

“Ten days, or something like that.” He shakes his head, as though trying to remember the facts whilst dispelling the heartache. “By the time her body was found, people had already made up their minds about what happened.”

“Why do they—”

“Why do they think I killed her?” He looks at me with pain in his eyes. I can see all of this is hurting him, that I’m hurting him, but I have to know. “We were supposed to go to a party that night, but I showed up without her. Our friends knew we’d been fighting, so they thought—” Try as he might, he can’t continue. He covers his mouth with his palm.

“What were you fighting about?”

“Dumb high school stuff.” Now he stands, pacing in front of me. “I can barely remember. Celia had this way of irritating people, and honestly, I’d had my fill of it, but I’d never—”

“I know you wouldn’t have hurt her, Coop.” I stare into his eyes, hoping he’ll see that I believe him. Not for a second did I think Coop could be capable of harming another person, and I regret the way I confronted him earlier suggested otherwise. I only want to know why others think he did.

He nods, and, for the first time all day, I feel like we’re on the same page. “So, you can see why they’d blame me. I was the boyfriend. Last person seen with her. It made for a good story, and people liked to tell it. This town had resented my family for years, and Celia’s death finally gave people permission to take it out on one of us. I felt the full brunt of everyone’s hate. My whole life I walked around Whisper like I was a god. Overnight, I became public enemy number one. I was only a kid.”

It’s visible now, his upset over the way he was treated. I’ve never heard him express his displeasure with Whisper so openly. He’s made hints in the past, but now I understand he has a plethora of unresolved issues with this place and the people in it.

“I’m sure there were some people who defended you,” I say, hoping.

“There were. My family always had my back. Certain friends, like Jimmy. More than a few people have changed their stance over the years, especially when they need a loan from Mom or a little extra publicity in theGazette.”

“Anyone who knows you understands you could never be involved in something so sinister,” I say, placing a hand on his chest. “That must count for something.”

“People shout accusations and whisper apologies.” He releases a dry laugh, which fails in masking his pain. “People may not treat me like a murderer anymore, but at one point they did. The sting of that never goes away.”

I think of what that must have been like. Coop would have only been eighteen at the time, the moment when most people discover life, explore new possibilities. It must have stunted him in some ways, wrestling with both grief and resentment towards those around him. It explains why he’s so cautious now, why he keeps everyone, including me, at a distance.

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