Page 103 of Ancient History

“You’ve been here a few months! We should hang out.” Spiegelman turned to the other guys, who nodded their heads and fervently agreed. “Get the old gang back together.”

“You kinda fell off the face of the earth, man,” Laken said, a little hurt. “We’ve all wondered what you’ve been up to. We want to hear about Nashville and everything.”

“I…I missed you guys, too,” Hutch said, almost startled.

“It’s getting harder now that some of us have kids, but we try to get together once a month. Us, wives and girlfriends. Amos, you’re welcome to join, too.” Spiegelman’s eyes were on me. My throat went dry from the attention.

Hutch held me close, not letting go.

“That sounds good,” he said. “We’d love to.”

“We need to catch up!” Laken said.

“I’m not the player I was.” Hutch looked down. “I busted my ACL.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, man.” Spiegelman clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re still the best player I’ve played with. If it makes you feel better, Laken’s going bald.”

“It’s true.” Laken felt his diminishing hair. The girls at school had once gone buckwild for him because of that mane. “I’ll probably be bald in a few years.”

“The good thing is that you’re already ugly, so it won’t be much of a difference.” Spiegelman broke into a laugh. Laken smacked him in the stomach.

“You’re one to talk with your beer gut.”

“Hey now, hey now. As captain, I won’t stand for infighting among players. You’re both ugly sons of bitches,” Hutch said.

Hutch was easily the cutest among them, but I’ll admit I was biased.

They exchanged numbers, and the guys left. Except for Seth. He stayed behind, sucking all the good vibes from the room.

“Hey,” he said.

Hutch stiffened against me, his body poised for fight or flight. “Hey,” he grunted.

“Hutch. Shit, I want to apologize. I remember how things went down in high school. I’m glad that you two were able to reconnect.”

“No thanks to you,” I said. My anger over what Seth did, the fear he instilled in Hutch that robbed him of so much. “Are you here to call us names? Threaten to chase us out of town?”

“I said I’m here to apologize.”

“Then apologize,” Hutch said.

“I’m sorry. I am, really.” Seth rubbed at the creases in his forehead, surprisingly struggling with this. Guys like him weren’t used to apologizing. “I used to believe that stuff. Straight and narrow. That’s how I was raised. I think in my head, I was looking out for you and also shaming you. It’s fucked up. I’m sorry.”

“It’s very fucked up,” I interjected.

“I have three kids. Got married to my college sweetheart in a shotgun wedding. Our oldest is eight and she…they…” He was like a dam trying its hardest not to break. “They are non-binary. She–they. Shit. This is all new for me, and I’m trying to learn. What I’m trying to say is that watching them discover who they are, how they’ve been teased in school, it’s been making me think about how I treated you. Alistar is strong, stronger than I was at their age. I keep wondering how many people like me they’re going to come into contact with, how many people are going to try and ‘protect’ them while making them feel less than, how many people will want to break their spirit.”

I never thought I’d see Seth Collins cry, and I never thought I’d care. But here we were. Tears rolled down his face, and a lump formed in my throat, too.

“So I’m truly sorry for how I acted, what I said. For keeping you two apart. I quit my job and am taking some time off. I’m re-evaluating a lot about what I’ve believed, what I’ve written. Could we try and be friends again?”

I turned to Hutch, awaiting his answer. His lower lip trembled with barely contained emotion. How could we have let one person cause this much damage to our lives?

“Seth, I appreciate you coming here and apologizing. Alistar sounds like a brave, awesome kid. I wish them and your family well. And I wish I could say yes, but I can’t. Not yet. There’s too much water under the bridge. I’m not ready to forgive. I’m gonna need a lot more time.”

“I understand.” Seth held his head high, but I could see the blow of defeat in his eyes. I didn’t find enjoyment in this little victory, and neither did Hutch. “I’m not proud of what I did.”

“I know. It’s not all your fault. I need to take responsibility for my part, too.”

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