Page 25 of Ancient History

Mr. Brightside: You might want to be clearer in your profile.

SoccerStar: That explains all the weird messages I’ve been getting.

Mr. Brightside: Now, now. Don’t kink shame.

SoccerStar: True. To each his own.

SoccerStar: Deleting now.

SoccerStar: I’m going to have a talk with my dad. I should’ve reviewed what he wrote. My bad.

That explained so much about the profile, but opened up more questions.

Mr. Brightside: Your dad is your wingman?

SoccerStar: Trying to be. He set this up for me.

Mr. Brightside: He needs a crash course in gay dating apps. If someone mentions NSA, they’re not referring to the National Security Agency.

SoccerStar: Of course. That means they support local businesses and never shop Amazon.

Mr. Brightside: It means they’re down for dinner because they have a normal supper appetite.

SoccerStar: And just because they say they’re a daddy doesn’t mean they have kids and wear their cell phone clipped to their belt, right?

Mr. Brightside: You’re getting the hang of this online dating thing. And RN means right now, not registered nurse.

SoccerStar: Why can’t they be both?

Mr. Brightside: You never know.

Mr. Brightside: They’d be a real unicorn.

SoccerStar: According to the internet, a unicorn in gay dating language means a single person who joins a couple. I thought it had to do with being horny.

SoccerStar: Because of the horns.

SoccerStar: Horn.

Mr. Brightside: Why can’t they be both?

SoccerStar: Thanks for looking out for me, Famous Amos.

I stared at his message, a warm feeling filling me up. Was I breaking my rule engaging with Hutch? Technically, I was engaging with SoccerStar, who could be catfishing me with Hutch pictures for all I knew. I’d better keep talking to him to be sure.

Mr. Brightside: You’re lucky.

SoccerStar: Why’s that?

Mr. Brightside: Sounds like you haven’t had to use apps. You’ve been able to pick up guys the old-fashioned way.

SoccerStar: Can I be honest?

Mr. Brightside: I’d prefer you lie to me. Jk

Mr. Brightside: That means just kidding.

SoccerStar: Not join kickball?

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