Page 47 of Ancient History

I re-checked myself in the mirror. He was right. It was…blah. I didn’t know what kind of impression I wanted to make tonight, but I didn’t want to fade into the background.

“What about this outfit?” I whipped off the polo, threw on a navy-and-green checkered shirt. “This says something, right? I mean, there’s colors!”

“Meh.”

“Meh?” I had no faith in any of my clothes anymore. Maybe I should stay home.

“That’s a shirt you could wear to school. You don’t want to wear a school outfit. You want a party outfit. You want something that’s going to be fun and make noise.” He hopped out of the chair, the take charge side of him coming out. “You want to stand out. You want these teachers to be like ‘Holy shit. Raleigh and Hutch are here.’ One teacher in particular.”

A lump lodged in my throat. I tried laughing it off. “What do you mean?”

“Dude, you have a thing for Amos.”

That lump metastasized across my entire body. He said it so easily. Every light seemed to be on and shining right on me, interrogation style.

“What are you talking about?”

“You take a roundabout way down the history corridor to get to the gym. Hell, I’ve even watched your face light up whenever you passed his mailbox cubby in the main office. And look at you right now. You’re freaking out about what to wear to a party at his place.”

The evidence was stacked against me. Was I that transparent? Were my puppy dog actions common knowledge among teachers? Among the whole school?

Raleigh’s usual sarcastic smirk softened as he put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m ridiculously handsome, charming as fuck, and above all, modest. What I’m not is oblivious.”

I found my bed under my hand and slowly sat down, multiple realizations hitting me. It was now or never. I was tired of the nerves, of being careful. Raleigh’s gaze seemed to convey that this was a safe space.

“I’m gay, Raleigh.”

“Yeah. I know. That’s what I was saying…about you and Amos. What part was unclear?” He grabbed the pencil from behind his ear. “Do you think I could balance this on my nose?”

I swiped it back. “So you’re cool?”

“Yeah.” He looked at me like I was crazy. “Wait, did you just like come out?”

“Kinda?” I hated that my out status was in this forever gray area. Who knew, who didn’t. I realized how freaking tired I was of all of it. “You’re the first friend I’ve come out to.”

Perhaps technically, I’d come out to Everett, Chase, and Julian first, and I could consider them friends. But Raleigh would appreciate believing he was my first.

“Shit. I didn’t know.” Raleigh’s cool demeanor dropped for a moment. “That’s awesome.”

“So you’re cool with it?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? I’m bi. What do you think about tying a sweater on your shoulders like a preppy tennis player? That could be a look.” He sifted through the pile of clothes on the bed.

“Wait. What?”

“You’re right. That’s too much of a costume.”

“You’re bi?”

“Yeah. I’ve been with mostly women, but I’ve hooked up with guys before.” He shrugged. The biggest NBD there was. “I consider myself a hole-sexual.”

I did the Mona Lisa of double takes. That was graphic, yet I supposed accurate?

“Hole-sexual?”

“Yeah. I’m all about the hole, dude. Doesn’t matter the gender. The hole is what matters most.”

“I, uh, that’s quite a take. Do you have a preference for one over the other?” No wonder he was with women mostly. They had guys beat with two holes to our one.

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