Page 4 of Advanced Chemistry

“You never know what could happen.” Amos had a playful smirk on his lips.

“You can say the same thing about waking up and coming to school.” I was not one of those people addicted to whimsy and fate. I preferred the hard, cold logic of science that our world was actually based on. I brushed sugary crumbs off my lap.

“Let us help you find a date to the wedding at least,” Everett said.

I had a feeling I’d be getting more of this pressure lately. A year ago, we were all single and mingling. But now, my three friends were in serious relationships. I had no interest in succumbing to peer pressure.

“I appreciate the offer, but no thank you.”

“You don’t want to go…” Julian started.

“Alone? I really don’t mind. I can still have fun without having to make awkward smalltalk with a gentleman I don’t know. I’ll be there with you guys.” Even though I was technically the lone single man in our group, I never felt like the odd man out. I loved hanging out with my friends and their boyfriends. We were one big family. And unlike them, I got to go home and relax in my apartment alone, another plus!

“Please don’t try to set me up with anyone. I like things the way they are,” I said.

“I know you’re a very literal-minded person, Chase. That’s what we love about you, but I don’t get why you’re so averse to dating,” Everett said.

“I’m not averse. I’m apathetic. Why add unnecessary mess to my life when things are a well-oiled machine?” I’d seen firsthand how awful things could get when one introduced mess into their lives. “Statistics—actual statistics here—show that more than half of marriages end in divorce, and we can extrapolate that the stats for all relationships are probably the same, too. Which, I don’t see that happening with any of you or Pop, but just pointing out numbers.”

“You and your well-oiled machine and your numbers and your logic.” Everett picked at the grass.

“I think what Everett is saying is that it’s okay to shake things up,” said Julian, the peacemaker of the group. “I never thought I was the type of person to fool around with my friend, but I took a chance, and now Seamus and I are together.”

“Unleash your inner freak more often. Twinkies shouldn’t be the only thing you’re deep throating.” Everett threw grass at me, as if we were eight. I’d shared stories with my friends of past sexual encounters, and it always blew their minds, as if they thought I was genuinely incapable of having fun.

“Speaking of Twinkies, did you want to go to SpringFest this weekend? There’s a booth that has deep-fried Twinkies and other confections,” I said, trying to change the subject to something more palatable.

“I’m going to Staten Island for Seamus’s family thing,” said Julian.

“Hutch and I are going zip-lining this weekend. Wish us luck.” Amos shrugged his shoulders.

“Can’t. There’s something called the NFL Draft that Raleigh wants to watch, which is just a butch way of saying football is announcing their casting for next season’s show. I swear, men can be so dramatic when it comes to their sports.” Everett sipped his can of Sprite. “And then after that, we’ll probably hit up some estate sales.”

“Do you really need more stuff? Your apartment is packed to the gills as it is,” Julian said. Everett was addicted to heavily discounted secondhand merchandise. Getting a good deal was like foreplay for him and Raleigh.

“I’m not giving up hope,” said Amos, turning back to me. Alas, my attempts at topic-changing were a bust. “We’ll all be keeping our eyes open for a suitable date for you.”

“That sounds like a colossal waste of time,” I said. “Your energy would be much better spent on other efforts, in my opinion.”

My friends shared silent looks with each other that I could easily decipher.

“You’re not being as stealthy as you think. I know what you’re all telepathically saying to one another. ‘Why doesn’t Chase want to be fixed up with anyone?’ I just don’t. I’m happy with how things are. I have my friends. I have a fun job imparting the wisdom of chemistry to impressionable students. I have apps that provide me with moderately attractive strangers with whom I can have no-strings-attached sex with whenever I feel the urge. My life is one perfectly balanced chemical equation. Trying to add in an unknown, untested element could destroy that balance. Look what happens when you remove one oxygen atom from carbon dioxide. You get carbon monoxide, which can kill you in your sleep.”

They couldn’t argue with science.

2

ANTON

First, we hit the gym, then we hit the phones.

That was my daily mantra, and so far, it’d worked well for me.

“C’mon, man. You got this. You got this. Push!” Sebastian yelled above me.

Two hundred pounds of solid weight hung in the air, the only thing stopping it from crushing me was my body’s strength.

There was no better moment in a workout than when I summoned my strength and pushed the barbell filled with way too much weight way over my head. Heat lanced my pecs.

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