Page 51 of Advanced Chemistry

How could it not look like he and Chase had slept together? Actually slept. The kind of sleeping one did with a partner.

“Whatever. I don’t care,” I said with as much nonchalance dudebro attitude as I could muster under the circumstances.

“Yes, you do,” he said firmly. I hated how much he could read me. It wasn’t fair. “After last night, you went to your bedroom and crashed. Chase and I couldn’t sleep, so we watched some TV. He offered to sleep on the futon, but we couldn’t get it to open. You know how fucking janky it is.”

We’d gotten it free off Craigslist. It wasn’t until after we walked it eight blocks, then up three flights of stairs to our apartment that we realized it had trouble opening into a bed. We’d gotten what we paid for.

“He’s too tall to lay on the futon as is. He tried, but I could tell he was very uncomfortable. So I invited him to crash on my bed.”

“I don’t need a play-by-play, Anton.”

“I thought about going to get you, but you were fast asleep. You’ve always had the gift of being a deep sleeper, Seb.”

“I said it was cool.”

He came closer and rubbed a hand on my arm. I flinched reactively, even though I wanted him to keep going.

“I don’t want you to feel left out. This wasn’t a move against you.”

“I know that.” I gripped the counter to steady myself.Stop falling in love with him.There was only one ending with Anton: a broken heart.

“Seriously, Seb. I wished you were in bed with us. I’m sorry for not waking you and having you join.”

I wanted to keep telling him it was fine, but he knew. He knew me well enough to know it wasn’t fine and that I felt hurt. As he did in his garage years ago, he bore into me with those bottomless wells for eyes.

“Please don’t be upset.” He stroked his hand up and down my arm. “It won’t happen again. Not without you.” He kissed my cheek softly. “We’re a trio. The Three Amigos, but with sex.”

I looked up at him and wanted to believe.

“God, you were so fucking hot last night, Seb. I’d never seen you like that. I want more.”

Just when I thought he was going to lean forward and kiss me for real, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Chase in the doorway. And the moment came to a halting crash of a stop.

“Morning,” I said, pushing past Anton. “We have coffee, yogurt, toast. Help yourself.”

“Thanks. I think it’s best that I get going. I have school,” Chase said.

“You sure you don’t have time for a quick breakfast?” Anton asked. The hopeful note in his voice crushed me.

I hated that my jealousy was like a cloak I could never take off. I hated that I was forever waiting for the moment when I would be ditched. Fuck my dad and the permanent damage he etched into my heart.

“He has school,” I said to Anton. “His students are waiting for him. Don’t let us stop you.”

Chase nodded, seeming a little dinged by the remark. He waved to both of us. “Farewell, then. Until we meet again.”

“We’re definitely meeting again,” Anton said.

His resolve was both a turn on and a pit of dread in my stomach. I had to face the ugly truth. I wasn’t built to be in a relationship, and definitely not a threesome. When the afterglow faded, jealousy would inevitably remain.

17

CHASE

“It’s in your best interest as my friends to know that I had another threesome.”

I said this to my friends three days after the aforementioned sexual encounter while standing on an alteration platform with a seamstress measuring my inseam. She didn’t flinch. She was Italian and ninety years old. She had likely heard worse.

Everett bolted from his dressing room and put his hand over his chest.

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