Page 85 of Advanced Chemistry

I cared about my guys deeply. I thought about them all the time. Home was having them in my arms. Why wasn’t I fighting for us? Was I really going to let these guys slip through my fingers out of fear? Since when did I give into fear?

“Ready?” I asked.

They nodded, and off we went.

Sebastian charged past me. I didn’t block him or reach for the ball. In fact, I didn’t move at all. I turned around and watched him pass to Chase, who delivered the ball to the basket in a glorious lay up.

My guys.

I love my guys.

Sebastian and Chase didn’t whoop and holler with victory. They looked at me, knowing that no matter the outcome, it was up to me.

I put a hand on each of their shoulders. “Looks like we won.”

27

CHASE

It was the last week of school, and I couldn’t stop smiling. Not just because I was about to have my summer free. But because I was twenty-four hours into my first real relationship. After our water basketball game, we went back to my place and made love, then slept in each other’s arms. This morning, I made pancakes for us. I supposed nothing much had changed, except that none of us were going anywhere.

During homeroom, some of my students kept looking at me, wondering why their usually stern, stoic teacher was grinning like he was high.

I turned my back to the students and wiped down my markerboard while the morning announcements blared through the loudspeaker. Principal Aguilar came on at the end.

“Good morning, students. I can’t believe we’re wrapping up another school year. The time really flies! I have the results for the Teacher of the Year poll, voted on by you. The winning teacher will address our seniors at graduation later this week. I can’t believe our seniors are graduating. I’m getting a little choked up. Anyway…”

Students glanced my way, putting an uncomfortable spotlight on me. I hadn’t much cared about the award, but in that moment, it began to feel real.

“And our winner for Teacher of the Year is…”

Seconds passed by like hours.

“Mrs. Gonzalez!” he announced, sending a gust of wind out of my body. “Congratulations! And congratulations to all of our students who participated in voting. Let’s have a great week, Huskies!”

The loudspeaker turned off, leaving the room in silence. Now I had a room of students looking at me with pity. I couldn’t let us get offtrack.

“Congratulations to Mrs. Gonzalez,” I said. I watched the clock, waiting for the bell to ring. This was homeroom, not an actual class, so I couldn’t jump into a lesson.

“I voted for you,” said a student.

“Me, too,” said another.

Other students nodded as well. I’d thought I had a so-so reputation at South Rock. I wasn’t a fun teacher. I didn’t try to be cool. But perhaps I had managed to garner a little bit of respect.

Once the bell rang, the class emptied out. I checked my buzzing phone.

Everett: Fuck Mrs. Gonzalez!

Julian: She’s actually a very nice woman.

Everett: Oh, she’s lovely. She always leaves a birthday card in my cubby. But also, fuck her. Chase was robbed!

Amos: You were so close. I could feel it.

Chase: It’s okay. The award has absolutely no bearing on my job.

Everett: It’s going to happen for you next year, Chase. You’re going to have goodwill from this year to carry you. It’s like when Nicole Kidman lost the Oscar forMoulin Rouge!and because of that, she won it the next year forThe Hours. We’re going to do a year-round campaign for you.

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