Page 31 of Advanced Chemistry

“You know Anton, it’s not too late to look into college,” Dad said. He held up his hand to stop my usual objection whenever he brought this up. “You don’t have to quit Beverage Solutions. You can take night classes.”

“That would take away time from the business.”

“It could help you. You can take business classes,” Mom said, picking up the thread from Dad. “A college degree is a valuable thing to have. An education lasts forever.”

“Unless I get amnesia,” I countered.

“Studies show that amnesia victims have a better chance of remembering academic facts than personal information. So yes, an education will survive if you get amnesia.” Dad had a gleeful gotcha look on his lips. Despite how smart he was, the man could be a goofball when he wanted to.

“How do you know that?”

“Because this isn’t the first time you’ve used the amnesia line on us,” he said.

“I love the thought behind it, but I’m doing well. I don’t need college. College isn’t for everyone.”

They got quiet for a second, and I knew what they were thinking:why isn’t it for our only son?

“Seb and I are doing well. We don’t want to stop our momentum with night classes and writing papers.”

“Sebastian never talks about going back to school?” Mom asked. “He’s so bright.”

As opposed to me?

“He knows the option is available if he wants to.” I made sure we had that talk before we jumped in with BS. I never forgot what Sebastian gave up to join me, and I would never guilt him into staying in something that he wasn’t fully invested in. But so far, so good. Sebastian showed no signs of wanting to leave. I hoped our hookup didn’t change that. Not just because of the business, but because I didn’t want to lose my friend.

“Why didn’t you and Sebastian ever get together? He’s a great guy.”

“Mom!” I felt my face go red. It wasn’t the first time she asked me that, but it was the first time she asked me that after I’d seen him naked.

“Your mother’s right. We like Sebastian. He’s intelligent and thoughtful. We’d love him as a son-in-law.”

“Whoa whoa whoa. Why are you thinking I’m going to get married? That’s not my speed.” I was grateful that my parents were cool with me coming out, but sometimes, they were too cool with it. Boundaries, folks!

“I don’t understand why you’re opposed to eventually settling down with someone,” Dad said.

“Why do you want me to get married at twenty-one?”

“Eventuallysettling down. You’re good-looking, social, and somewhat successful.” I was sure Dad had trouble with that last part. “We thought you’d bring a boyfriend around to one of these dinners by now.”

“Could we go back to talking about macroeconomic theory and Flaubert?” A sharp pain hit my stomach. I couldn’t storm off like I would as a child. And I couldn’t grab anyone’s crotch. Instead, I hit them where it hurt. “Mom, isn’t it true that Flaubert’s prose pales in comparison to Ivan Turgenev’s? I thought I read that on the internet.”

Her eyes bugged open, and she slammed her fork onto her plate. “What? Where did you read that? People refuse to give Flaubert his due. Ivan Turgenev’s work is puerile and misbegotten…”

Mom launched into a lengthy takedown of Turgenev, her favorite thing to do, and mercifully got us off the topic of my lack of love life.

* * *

My old bedroom remained intact,and I liked to go up there to relax after these dinners. A good bedroom brought a sense of peace. Mine had a large bay window that overlooked our backyard and pool. One day, I told myself, I would be able to buy a house with a view like this.

I lay on my old bed, staring up at the ceiling still plastered with posters of extreme athletes andWorkaholics. My bedroom was a shine to everything my parents hated: sports and lowbrow entertainment.

Even though Mom’s trashing of novelists from the 1800s saved my ass from awkward dinner conversation, I couldn’t shake thoughts of Sebastian and Chase. Sebastian was my best friend, and yeah we crossed a line, but that didn’t have to change everything. We could still have fun with Chase. He and Chase seemed similar. They were both intelligent, thoughtful pieces of bread, and I was the piece of meat in the middle.

I hopped off my bed and pulled my old yearbook from my bookcase, which had more toys and sports paraphernalia on it than actual books.

Seb and I might as well have been conjoined twins because we were always in pictures together. I flipped to the wrestling team’s page where we posed, arms around each other’s shoulders after a meet. A few pages later, I found a candid shot of us at our cafeteria table. A warm feeling lit up my chest.

I turned to the section with the teachers’ pictures and smiled at Chase’s neat, put-together pose. Apparently, there was a whole page dedicated to something called Science Olympiad, which he ran. There he was prepping a table of nerdy students at some kind of quiz bowl-looking competition, thick glasses framing his face perfectly. On the other side of the page was a group shot of the Math Club. Sebastian stood in the back, smiling proudly, easily the most attractive person in the club. I’d forgotten he participated in math competitions during the wrestling off-season.

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