Page 41 of Advanced Chemistry

“It happened when I was eight. He secretly started a family with another woman, and he decided to live with them. Before he left, he sat me down and tried to explain his rationale, which in retrospect was a pretty awful thing to explain to an eight-year-old. Deep down, I felt like I was in constant competition with this other family.”

“Like maybe if you were the best son possible, he’d come back.” Sebastian stared into the night sky. He didn’t phrase it as a question.

“I signed up for soccer in the hopes of being a dynamic enough player to convince Dad to come back. He never came to one of my games,” I said, the memory of an empty space in the bleachers haunting me as if it happened yesterday. “Which was probably for the best since my athletic skills were subpar, as previously mentioned.”

“You probably weren’t as terrible as you think.”

“I kicked and missed the ball more times than I’d like to admit. And sometimes, I would hop to the ball like a bunny rabbit.” I was born to be a weird kid.

“There’s nothing you could’ve done to convince your dad to return. Guys like that are selfish. It’s only about them.” Sebastian kicked at the gravel. His hand squeezed my knee in support. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Things got messy, but they’re better now. I have my life and my routine. It keeps me sane. I’ve learned to live without the mess.”

“I try to stay away from the mess, too,” Sebastian said, unclenched for the first time tonight. “It’s difficult, though. It’s so easy to get tangled up in feelings and crushes and shit.”

“Life is much better when you focus on facts and avoid gray areas. But anyway, sometimes that competitive side of me rears its ugly head, like with playing darts. Or when fighting for someone’s attention.”

Was that what was happening inside? I didn’t think Anton invited me tonight to compete with Sebastian, but why did it turn into that?

“I didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable between you and Anton,” I said.

Sebastian heaved out a sigh. “You didn’t. That one was all me.”

“You know why he invited me, right?”

“He wanted us all to hang out,” Sebastian said.

“He wants us to have another threesome.”

Sebastian’s eyes went wide, surprised that I said the quiet part out loud.

“Was I not supposed to be blunt? Are threesomes one of those things that can’t be talked about, only experienced?”

He burst out laughing, his face breaking into a humongous smile.

“That’s what Anton is thinking, isn’t it? He brings us to a bar, gets us to loosen up with alcohol, and then eventually has us make our way back to your apartment all through the not-to-subtle power of persuasion and flirting.”

“You’re ruining the magic, Chase.”

“Doesn’t the magic happen once we get back to your apartment?”

Sebastian doubled over laughing. I never understood why sexual matters couldn’t be talked about. Wouldn’t it make things easier if we were all on the same page?

“Frankly, I was blindsided when I came into Remix. I thought Anton and I were grabbing a happy hour drink,” he said.

“He invited me to join. If I’d known…but now I get why you weren’t happy to see me from the get-go.”

“I wasn’t unhappy to see you. I was surprised. I’m not the best with surprises.”

“Same. Surprises are more for the surpriser than the surprised, which makes them inherently selfish acts.”

“I’ve actually had that same thought. Great minds think alike.” Sebastian’s stormy eyes bore into me, sending a delightful chill up my back. “Can I ask you an honest question?”

“As opposed to a dishonest one?”

“True. Uh, did you want to…repeat last weekend?”

“Have another threesome. Yes. Yes, I would.”

---