Page 58 of Advanced Chemistry

“It means…you smell.” Sebastian could barely meet my eyes. He went back to reading his phone. Sebastian could be so put together, which really pissed me off right now. He was coming off as reserved and cold.

Who the hell did he think he was—some British dude?

I summoned all my years of Little League pitching practice and threw my sopping wet T-shirt in his face.

“What the fuck!” He threw it on the floor, avoiding the rug. I kicked it onto the rug and mashed it into the fibers to spite him. “What the fuck was that for, Anton?”

“Because you’re being British!” I spat out before realizing that Sebastian wasn’t privy to the conversation happening in my head.

“Dude, have you been taking performance enhancing drugs again, because I told you that shit messes with your head.”

“You’re the shit messing with my head!” I ripped the phone from his hands. His iPhone was new and important to our business, so I lightly tossed it on the futon. “We have a huge meeting coming up, and we can’t even talk about it because you’re being weird and frosty like that guy in that movie about the blonde chick who everyone calls fat but is actually a normal size.”

“Bridget Jones’s Diary?” Sebastian crinkled his forehead in confusion, which I found adorable, even though it was totally not the right time to fawn over his fucking forehead. “That movie that we watched with Savannah?”

“Yeah. You’re the Draco guy!”

“Mr. Darcy?”

“Yeah!” I pointed an accusatory finger at him. “Darcy!” I caught my breath and realized that I might not have been making perfect sense. “Something’s been up with you ever since we started hanging out with Chase, but then when I bring it up, you say everything’s fine. Like, what the fuck was up with being pissed in the kitchen the other morning? Since then, all we’ve had are hella awkward exchanges. It’s all justweird, and I don’t understand what’s gotten into you when we’re on the cusp of landing the biggest client in Beverage Solutions history.”

I stomped into the kitchen and pulled off a few sheets of paper towels for my sweaty hair. Sebastian charged in while I was mid-rubbing my head.

“You really have no idea why I’ve been weird?” he asked, kinda curious but also kinda glaring at me.

“No!”

“So every time that you’ve been flirty and touchy with Chase, I get weird, and you have no idea why? You have no idea why I’ve never been fully supportive when you describe your latest hookups?”

“You have high standards for me?”

“Let’s go back to Bridget Jones and her motherfucking diary, shall we? Why, does it turn out, has Mr. Darcy been weird around Bridget for the whole movie?”

I replayed movie highlights in my head, especially remembering when Savannah swooned at the line Darcy says about liking Bridget just as she is.

“Because he’s actually…in love with her?”

Like the faulty switch in our bathroom, the light bulb suddenly went off in my head. Oh shit.

Sebastian stared at me, letting it sink in. Just beyond his tense glare was something more sensitive and wounded peeking through.

“You like me?” I asked.

“I’m in love with you, you fucking dipshit.”

It was as ifBridget Jones’s Diaryhad the twist ending ofThe Sixth Sense. That was why Sebastian was acting weird. He wanted me all to himself. This whole time, he loved me.

How had I been so blind as to not realize his feelings? Maybe I was forcing myself not to think about them because they led to an uncomfortable gray area in our friendship.

What happened when the high of hooking up faded away? Would he still be in love with his not-so-bright friend? Could I keep up with him?

I pushed those fears aside for now and stared at Sebastian’s intensely beautiful face. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He wasn’t just a part of my life. He was the key that made the whole thing turn. The feelings that had been brewing inside me didn’t just come out of nowhere.

“When we kissed during the threesomes, those kisses meant something to me. What did they mean for you?” he asked, almost like a dare.

They were so fucking hot. I couldn’t stop thinking about his mouth on mine. “They were amazing. I wanted to keep kissing you even after we were done, but I didn’t want to make it weird. I, like, haven’t been able to stop thinking of kissing you.”

Sebastian knew me better than anyone in this world. I wanted to be close with him. Was this what it felt like to be in love? Was love just the constant wanting of someone, and when you have them, it only makes you want them more?

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