Page 61 of Advanced Chemistry

Everett: Raleigh and I are going to see the newFast and Furiousmovie. I hear in this one, Vin Diesel drives in reverse at such high speed he accidentally travels back in time and races against Ben Hur’s souped-up chariot. My suspension of disbelief will be working overtime.

Chase: Julian?

Julian: Seamus has a baseball game, and I’ll be watching in the stands. Next Friday, though!

Amos: Sorry, Chase.

Chase: No worries! I get to have a Puzzles and Pizza night with Einstein.

I coined Puzzles and Pizza Night back when I was in high school. Since my social life was quiet, mostly by choice, I spent most Fridays ordering myself a pizza and putting together a puzzle. I knew the phone numbers for all local pizza establishments by heart, and not to brag, but they knew me by name, too.

A casual observer might have seen this and deemed it dispiriting, or even pathetic. But I never did. I loved Puzzles and Pizza night! I didn’t have to share my pizza with anyone, didn’t have to peel off unwanted toppings that edged onto my half of the pie, didn’t have to make smalltalk or drive around aimlessly or stand out in the cold pumping a keg or whatever cool kids did.

After school, I did my grocery shopping for the week. Supermarkets had the lowest foot traffic on Friday evenings. When I got home, I put away the groceries and collapsed on the couch, saving up my energy for a very difficult puzzle. Einstein, my fat, compact kitty, tiptoed onto my chest. She gave me a look wondering if this was okay, even though she’d rest there anyway.

Einstein had a lush shading of fur that was a mix of brown and gray. Her expressive, oversized eyes could turn the most coldhearted person into a pile of mashed potatoes. She was gorgeous, and she knew it. It was going to be me and Einstein versus one thousand pieces of Van Gogh’sStarry Night.

I shut my eyes for a minute, but under my eyelids, I kept seeing Anton and Sebastian. They were probably busy tonight with parties or meeting up with friends. What would it be like to have their hulking bodies in my small apartment? What would it sound like to have their laughter and merriment bounce off my sparsely adorned walls?

I pulled out my phone. Einstein jumped up from her reclining position in a panic. Why did cats always panic when their humans made the slightest move? We could learn a lot thanks to science, but cats would always remain a mystery.

“I’m just getting my phone,” I told her, putting a calm hand on her back. “You don’t need to move.”

She kept eyeing me, like something was off. And perhaps it was.

Chase: Hello! What fun plans do you guys have tonight?

For the record, I was content to enjoy a Puzzles and Pizza night alone, for all of the aforementioned reasons. I was merely curious what Anton and Sebastian were up to. They seemed like gentlemen with exciting, enthralling lives.

Einstein wasn’t having this bullshit.

“There is no crime for texting someone,” I pleaded to my four-legged judge, jury, and executioner.

If cats could roll their eyes, Einstein would have as she returned to resting on my chest.

My phone buzzed a few seconds later. I held it over Einstein and read the message from Anton.

Anton: Seb and I were doing some admin work to end the week, then we were probably going to grab a bite to eat. You?

Sebastian: Correction. I’m doing most of the admin work. Anton is reading about old wrestlers on Wikipedia.

Anton: It gets really dark, man.

I chuckled at the exchange, imagining them squabbling in person.

Chase: I’m having a Puzzles and Pizza night with myself.

Sebastian: I can’t remember the last time I did a puzzle. Maybe elementary school?

Anton: Where did you order pizza from?

Chase: CJ Pizza.

Anton: Soooooo good.

Sebastian: Did you get the cheesy bread, too?

Chase: Negative. Cheesy bread is pizza without the sauce. It’s mildly preposterous that it would be a separate item on the menu. It would be analogous to someone ordering a side of chicken wings with their chicken tenders.

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