Page 71 of Advanced Chemistry

“You don’t know what Hollis is thinking. Let’s not get our hopes too high.”

“I agree with Sebastian. You want to take a measured approach, lest you come off too cocky,” said Chase. It was two-against-one, and not in the fun way.

“But you also want to be confident because if Hollis smells weakness or shakiness, he won’t invest a dime with us,” I said.

Chase tipped his head, as if it were a literal scale weighing both sides. “He has a point.”

“Booyah!” I pumped my fist.

“I’m cautiously optimistic,” said Sebastian.

“Seb, you’re cautiously optimistic about crossing the street.”

“Well, to be fair, you never know when a car could come around the bend.” Chase shrugged.

I hopped off the treadmill and whipped both of their cautiously optimistic asses with my towel.

We went into the locker room and grabbed our gym bags, then left. We preferred to shower at home…for obvious reasons.

* * *

Two days later,it was time for the final meeting with Hollis. Fuck cautiously. I was full-on optimistic. Chase made us his world-famous pancakes, yet I was so nervous, I only had four.

I had to be careful with my diet. Apparently, the way to my heart was through Chase’s pancakes.

“I was looking at your numbers again, and I think you can shave five percent off cost and still come out ahead. If I’m reading these correctly.” Chase handed us printouts of our profit and loss statements and Powerpoint deck that he’d reviewed. We’d asked him to look it over since he was the smartest person we knew.

“I think you might be right,” Sebastian said, eyes widening at the sheet of numbers. “We can keep this in our back pocket. We need to sell him on us versus Main Street Vendors. If we do that, he’ll love the numbers.”

“People buy from people,” I said, the most common piece of advice in sales. It wasn’t as astute as Chase’s cost analysis, but if Hollis liked us, he would rationalize the data.

Main Street Vendors was a soulless, corporate entity with a deviously ironic name that got big by eating up smaller competitors. Their leadership was based in Los Angeles. They didn’t know the first thing about Main Street.

“Good luck! It’s very odd seeing you dressed up,” Chase said. “I’ve only seen you in shorts.”

“You can’t stop looking at our legs,” I said.

“This is true. You guys are going to kill it. Kill it in a good way, like a hunter slaughtering a moose in order to feed his family.” He wore the cutest fucking apron that said “Cooking with Chemistry.”

“Thanks, Chasey.” I stood up and without thinking planted a good-bye kiss on Chase’s lips, as if I were a husband going off to work and Chase would have a pot roast ready when we came home. He seemed a tad surprised at the gesture, too.

Sebastian kissed Chase, too, and straightened his glasses.

It was all very domestic. And impossibly sweet.

I got into my sales mindset and pushed whatever I was thinking to the back of my head. We had an account to win.

* * *

Sebastianand I turned on the charm for Hollis. Fortunately, he wrestled in college, so we had a very easy in. He was a real man’s man. The kind of guy with a natural barrel chest who ate steak on the regular. Fuck cholesterol. A cowboy hat hung on a hook behind his door, which wasn’t something one normally saw in upstate New York.

The meeting went great. Sebastian and I were on fire. Hitting him with charm and numbers. We didn’t make a compelling argument for BS. Nobody liked arguing except lawyers. Instead, we had a compelling conversation, learning about his pain points and how BS could fix them. Hollis was frustrated with his current vendor, lots of little paper cuts that were adding up. Sebastian and I kept bringing up those pain points throughout the conversation.

I closed with my final line. “Hollis, with our bespoke services and cost savings, Beverage Solutions can alleviate the hassle you’re having with your current vendor. We will work hard for you day and night. What can we do to win your business?”

“I like you boys. You’re young. You got spunk. And unlike Lou Grant, I love spunk!”

I didn’t know who the heck Lou Grant was, but I nodded along and made a mental note to Google later.

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