Page 117 of Beneath His Robes

And it broke me.

I stayed there for a long time, not sure how long, my fingers still gripping the stone. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving, of walking away from him. But the weight of his absence was crushing me. And when I finally forced myself to stand, to take that first step away from him, it felt like a part of me had been torn out.

I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to keep living in a world where Elias wasn’t in it. But I knew I had to, for him. He wouldn’t want me to be swallowed whole by the pain, even though it felt like it would destroy me.

When I finally got the strength to move my feet forward, lift myself off the ground, and keep moving, I heard a voice behind me.

The low, mocking cadence made me freeze, knowing instantly who it belonged to.

“How’d I know you would slink out of that fire? Bagh, oh well. Clearly got one of you bastards. Ya know what they say, if at first, you don’t succeed…”

I turned around slowly, my fists drawn so tightly I could barely feel my palms anymore.

“How fucking dare you come here,” I said, my voice growing colder than I ever thought possible.

I thought about letting him kill me, too. Kneeling before him and begging him to end it. End it all so I could be back with Elias.

But he wouldn’t do that for me.

He would want me to stay here.

“Your poster boy. Ha. Hell of a way to go. Damn, butcher meat for skin. Shame really. Could have got some good cash for his body back with the boys.”

I couldn’t see straight.

“You’re a whore too ain’t ya? You still slingin’ your body round’? Maybe I will let you pay for my freedom. Spare your sorry-ass excuse for a life as a final whatever to ya mama.”

Red. Nothing but red. Just like before, I acted before I even knew I moved.

One minute, Jack was across the cemetery, provoking me and mocking Elias in his grave. The next, he was smashing into the tombstone in front of me, my hands dragging him. I didn’t feel pain.

I could see him clawing at my burn marks, ripping open my skin until I was bleeding on the soil above Elias’s grave. But I was blissfully numb. I didn’t feel any emotion. Just a calm as I continued to smash the man’s face—that who should have raised me, should have loved me—into the marble.

Again and again.

There was no sound. No cracking of the stone from his bones, no splashing of the blood that sprayed from his face and my arms. Nothing. Just an eerie calm.

“What’s the matter, Jack? Not so brave when you don’t have your cult to protect you?” I said robotically, my lips lifting in a smile as I stared down at his broken face.

“You’ll get yours, boy. You won’t get away with this.”

I laughed without humor, licking the blood off my lips before smashing his once more onto the stone. Elias’s name was covered in blood. The crimson filled in the divots of his name, and I froze.

No.

No more bloodshed.

Too much had been lost.

“You can’t hurt me anymore,” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks as I spoke. “You have no power over a man without a soul.”

Jack faltered, and for the first time in my fucking life, he looked…afraid.

He looked afraid of me.

I could kill him. End his miserable life by smashing his arrogant fucking face on this stone until his stupid fucking mouth stopped. But Elias was here. Elias was watching. He wouldn’t want me to succumb to my desires like this.

I screamed and threw the piece of shit away from Elias’s grave. I couldn’t taint his grave anymore. I had already cracked the new marble of the tombstone. I already left a mare from my anger. I needed to call for help.

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