Page 17 of Beneath His Robes

Would he taste the same?

No, he wouldn’t.

Elias had tasted like salty tears and fucking rage that day. My stupid actions in my attempt to protect both of us had broken him in two. I knew how he had felt because as I’d watched him crumble in front of me…I’d felt the same pain. I’d severed my own heart that day, and clearly, Elias had chosen to keep it that way.

My hand burned where I had held his. Even for that brief second, it was worth everything to touch him again.

God, I needed him. I needed to break this fucking tension that reached all the way from our darkened past. I needed his body. Would he let me explore his newly defined muscles? Would he fight me when he succumbed to his desire?

I almost wanted a fight. I wanted to feel him break beneath me, claim the prize of his cock, and damn him to the hell that meant loving me.

His words echoed in my head. The finality of his rejection stung so badly that it physically made me itch. Elias wasn’t that pure little boy. I had to remind myself over and over that my best friend had changed.

I wasn’t the same kid either.

Would Elias even want me if he knew the shit that I had done since I’d walked away from him? No. He would pray for my soul and lock himself deeper into those hardened walls of his heart.

My dick had the absolute worst timing. It was pressed against the zipper of my jeans, and the ache made me groan. It felt like a fucking chastity belt.

Maybe that’s what I needed.

I smacked my stupid appendage, annoyed at my ability to drive being altered from the never-dulling lust when I thought of Elias.

I could feel precome dripping from the tip, and it made me look like I pissed my pants.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! C’mon.”

Growling, I pulled over my truck into the store parking lot and parked in the back lot. This place used to be a mall, but now it was just a big empty building of nothing but broken memories for the town. It wouldn’t be long before some rich ass medical company scooped up the plans and made yet another healthcare facility that did anything but true healing.

“Is this what you want, Elias?” I whispered, ripping my dick out of my zipper and squeezing the length in my hand. “To feel this maddening pain of not being able to feel you?”

I was screaming at my cock in a truck at the edge of a supermarket. How the mighty have fallen.

“Fuck you,” I said, fucking hot tears streaming down my face.

I let the anger and pain out onto my flesh, enjoying the burn on my skin because I knew I deserved this.

What did you actually expect when you waltzed into his church? For him to jump into your arms, forgive you for being a cheating bastard, and sing Kumba-fucking-Ya?

A hysterical laugh bubbled from my mouth, and I jerked my dick harder until it became painful.

I didn’t deserve to feel pleasure with Elias in my thoughts. I deserved pain.

His beautiful face was a beacon in my mind, guiding me through my blurring tears and to a pleasure that was so forbidden I could never truly reach it.

“I am sorry, Elias. I-I…Fuck! I love you.”

I was about to come, my voice coming out in ragged pants, but then a knock sounded on my tinted window, and I jolted upright, dropping my dick and trying to compose myself.

My windows were fogged to hell, and a blonde woman stood outside the door. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite place her face. It had been so long since I was here, and everyone from my past was beginning to blur together.

I collected my thoughts, shoving my dick back into my jeans and taking a deep breath.

“Uh, Hi there,” I said, rolling down my window and staring at her bright blue eyes.

“Sorry, I was uh…taking a nap.”

The woman looked caught off guard. My truck probably smelled like a combination of sweat and spit with the lingering odor of my fucking mother’s dirty ass.

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