Page 19 of Beneath His Robes

“No, no, no! You stay put. This is a dinner for you! You are the guest, too. You don’t put a guest to work. No, no, no.”

Her sing-song tone only worried me more. I stood, walking over to reach for her.

“Mom, please let me help. I can still be a guest, but you are clearly struggling with…just let me help.”

My mother whacked me with a dish towel and ushered me back to the table. I sighed, turning my back and allowing her to lead me.

“You work so hard, Elias. Let someone else work for you. You are my child. My beautiful child of God. Let your mama do her duties, too, okay?”

I sighed, running my hands through my hair and accepting this was her ritual. I could appreciate that. I had my daily rituals, too. Things I did that felt so routine that losing even a day without them was a discomfort.

I kept my mouth shut, watching her flitter about the kitchen. The smell of burnt meat permeated around the room, but I didn’t dare mention anything after her love-tap with the towel.

I focused on the icy coating over the window frames.

It was winter in Utah, which meant the frost was a consistent companion to the wind hurting your face by simply existing.

Despite the frigid chill in the air, my father still managed to down the buck burning in the oven. Ronan and I used to go hunting as kids. He didn’t have a father figure, so my dad practically raised him.

My dad did not know how deeply Ronan ran in my blood.

I would never have the courage to tell my family. They asked me for years why Ronan had disappeared, and when he moved away, I couldn’t handle their constant questioning.

I had decreased my time at home more and more until I found myself at Father Franklin’s doorstep on the most pathetic night of my life.

* * *

The bitch under me felt as dry as the alcohol traveling down my throat. Despite that, I fucked her harder, trying to get some semblance of an orgasm.

Was sex ever pleasurable?

It just felt…empty to me.

No matter how high, drunk, or sober I was.

Nothing was like Ronan. I knew I was going to live my entire life trying to feel a single spark that his kiss ignited inside me.

“Oh fuck! Yes, Daddy. Fuck me. Yes. ohhhh, yes.”

I shoved the woman’s head down onto the concrete, not wanting to see her and being too off balance from all the drinking.

“Oh, you are a god!” she continued to squeal, her glassy eyes leaning back to stare at me. She looked like a creepy circus clown, and adding in a hard shot of nausea was a baaaad combo.

“I think I’m gonna?—”

Too late.

The girl shrieked, jerking away from me and slapping me so hard across the face that I fell onto the ground she was bent over just moments ago.

My dick scraped against the sidewalk, and I hissed, instantly deflated.

“What the fuck bitch?” I slurred, trying to stand up and falling like a damn baby giraffe back to the ground.

My world spun, the night stars dancing in my vision above my body.

“Oh, pretty,” I said, coughing from the vomit that still burned in my raw throat.

I needed more alcohol.

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