Page 25 of Beneath His Robes

This entire home held nothing but pain and memories of what I could never have.

How many times had I punched that damned wall until my knuckles bled?

Why him, God?

Why did you bring Ronan back to me?

Why do you feel you need to test me so painfully?

What have I done to deserve this cruel punishment?

“Elias.” Ronan breathed, his dark gray eyes closing in the peace of this moment.

His lips were so close.

I could smell the fresh bread he had eaten when he arrived at my home. I could see the small cracks on his lips from the cold, harsh weather outside. I could feel him tremble.

Waiting.

It would be so easy to lean forward just that last fraction of an inch and relive that stolen moment in time when we were teenagers. Young boys caught in our passion. I could hear his moans from all those years ago, and I remembered the taste of his lips as they crashed into mine.

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body,” I spoke the verse to myself more than to Ronan, but he pulled away.

“A new command I give you: Love one another,” he said, not letting my eyes leave his own. “As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.”

Naturally, he’d respond with another verse. That was Ronan Saint Clare for you—constantly searching for a loophole in a world full of unyielding rules.

“Speaking of…” I said, preparing to ask the most awkward question of my life.

Ronan was watching me, waiting for me to say something.

Did he know what I wanted to ask? He was around more than one ex today, Maria and me. How could he act so normal? I had to know. It had been eating at me since hearing that news.

“How long did you date Maria? You said you broke up. Was it serious?”

Ronan swallowed, blinking a few times before answering, but he didn’t meet my eyes.

“Casual. I don’t know. I don’t keep track of things like that.”

Meanwhile, I knew exactly how long I had known Ronan. I remembered the very second we met…

* * *

Eighteen Years Ago

My father was behind me, dragging that stupid deer that smelled horrible. Maria was lagging behind, and I was already too far ahead.

Pop was going to yell at me if I kept going. Maria was always whining about her hair getting wet or her feet hurting. I still didn’t understand why Pop insisted on taking her hunting with us, but every time I asked him, he just told me, ‘You will understand someday, my son. We are all equal.’

The clearing to the forest was just ahead, and my feet were itching to take off to the flower-covered area by the big tree. Maybe I could tease Maria later by carving her name next to Jimmy Baston’s in the bark of the big tree.

Snickering at my masterful plan, I took off, running faster than I had before, just so I could make it worth it when I ultimately got in trouble.

It was like a treasure hunt around here. You had to follow a number of scents, paths, and memories. A hunter needed to use their instincts to get to the booty. The tree was shining in the distance, and I was so close now.

I couldn’t wait to hear Maria squeal at me when I showed her.

Right as I got to the tree, I heard a faint sound that made me furrow my brows in curiosity and a bit of fear.

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