Page 6 of Beneath His Robes

Pulling my hoodie over my head, I tucked my cell underneath it and began scrolling through my contacts.

Elias’s name was the first to pop up, and my heart broke even more.

We couldn’t keep playing this fucking game. He knew I loved him. I knew he loved me. The tension between us was painful. The only people we were fooling about our connection were ourselves.

Worse, now my step-douche was threatening to kill Elias. I couldn’t live with myself if the one person I ever truly cared for was hurt because of my fucked up family. I had to do the right thing for him.

I had to let him go.

It hurt too much to hold onto a rope that I knew didn’t have an end.

Maria’s name flashed across my phone screen, and I sighed. The prima donna, the perfect woman, was attracted to me. Her advances were only becoming more and more intense each time I saw her, but what made it hard was that she was Elias’s sister. I was kind to her because of Elias’s love for her, but I couldn’t tell him of her affection for me. It would hurt him.

Maybe this was the only way to save him…and she could get me out of this downpour.

I swallowed the bile threatening to rise in my throat as I punched in a text, bitterness settling deep within me.

When her response popped up, so did my guilt and self-hatred.

“I’m sorry, Elias,” I said, turning my face to the sky, hoping the rain would wash me clean.

* * *

My mind was jarred back to reality with the direct shove of Elias’s firm grip.

“I said leave, Ronan Saint Clare,” he demanded, shoving me away harder as tears streamed down his soft, freckled face. “Don’t you know Maria isn’t here?”

I deserved that, but hearing the words still made me feel sick. Anger replaced my lust, and I threw my hands up in defeat.

“Fine. Be a good boy for all your loyal drones, but remember at night, when you’re aching for me to be inside you, that I’m the only one who can please you. Not your fucking god.”

His breath hitched, and he shoved me again with his full strength, moving my body out of the confessional area until I stumbled down the first set of stairs.

“I will pray for you,” he said, towering above me, perching on those steps like an angel ready for war. “You and my sister.”

I didn’t bother telling him that the only time I’d so much as spoken to Maria was that night, but it didn’t matter. I could see the metaphorical wall surrounding him become erect and grow taller, darkening his heart further and blocking me from his mind.

“You know what?” I said, my words echoing up the stairs and throughout the church. “You call all these people sinners, but have you looked in the mirror, Father?”

He stiffened, his chest rising and falling. “You are the biggest sinner of us all. At least we admit to our sins, our feelings, and desires. You? You just hide behind your god and lie to everyone around you.Including yourself.”

Before he could deny anything else, I slammed the main entrance door open and forced my body to move away from the man I loved.

Walking out of the chapel doors made me feel cold. The warmth I felt from being so near to Elias again was draining from my body with each step back to my truck. I knew this would be the outcome when I was stupid enough to show up here, but I couldn’t shake the pain regardless of how much it hurt to hear and feel his rejection.

I deserved this.

It was my punishment for my sins. I’d chosen society’s acceptance over my best friend all those years ago. And now, he’d chosen another man over me.

My cell beeped, and it was my fucking mother.

Sighing, I brought the device to my ear. “Yeah? What’s up, Ma?”

My erratic, hair-brained mother was sniffling on the other line. She sounded high off her ass, and I could barely make out the words over the snot-wracked sobbing.

“He really did it this time, Ronan. He hurt me really bad. I can’t move m-my arm. I need a d-doctor. I know you ain’t got no reason to care…but pl-please, can ya help me?”

Was this a trick? Did she just want to steal from me again? Knock me over the head and take my truck like last time?

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