Page 64 of Beneath His Robes

He was harmless, usually, but that didn’t mean I liked being around him, especially not today.

“Vix, just—” I started, but he was already bouncing on the balls of his feet, moving in quick, erratic circles like he was about to explode by singing at the top of his lungs.

“Dancing on stage! Stripping!” He laughed louder now, throwing his arms out like he was the one being heckled. “That’s gotta be a crazy life, huh? Just you, a pole, and a crowd full of—” He paused dramatically. “Horny old men!”

I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore him. I wasn’t in the mood for his nonsense, but he was relentless.

“Bet you had a whole routine, huh? A little hip thrust, a little shimmy, maybe a twirl to get ‘em riled up?” Vix was getting louder, his grin widening as he closed the space between us.“Man, you must’ve had ‘em eating out of your hand. Or maybe just ‘slobbing your knob.’ Could’ve been a porn star. Wait, were you? Did you do that gigolo on low-low?”

“Vixor,” I said, quieter this time, trying to keep the edge from my voice. “Shut up. I’m not in the mood.”

He didn’t seem to hear me. His eyes were wide, as if he saw something I couldn’t see.

“You know what I would’ve done?” he said, completely ignoring the fact that I’d just told him to drop it. “I would’ve danced on top of the table. Hell, I would’ve climbed the bars and done a whole damn striptease right in front of ‘em!”

He threw himself dramatically onto his bed. His arms outstretched like he was awaiting a standing ovation while ripping off his tank.

I didn’t even bother looking at him. I just stared at the dingy concrete floor. “Yeah, I bet you would’ve.”

“You know…” he said, still lying on his bed but now with an odd, conspiratorial tone in his voice, “Sometimes I think we’re all just stripping, man. Not for money but for something else. We’re all whores. All slinging our dicks around for something. We’re all just peeling away the layers, bit by bit, exposing the shit that’s inside of us. That’s what this place does, you know? It makes you naked in ways you didn’t think you could be.”

I glanced over at him. Vix was lying there, his eyes a little too wide and his words a little too philosophical for my mood. His mind, it seemed, was always in a hundred different places, none of them fully grounded.

“Yeah,” I muttered. “I guess that’s one way of putting it. We’re all a bunch of whores.”

He propped himself up on his elbows, staring at me with an intensity that I didn’t expect, and it made me uncomfortable. “I bet you’re thinking about him, huh?”

The words hit me like a slap. For a second, my breath caught in my throat. My chest tightened.

“What?” I managed, my voice barely above a whisper.

“That priest guy. Elias, right?” Vix’s voice was oddly knowing, his smile creeping up at the edges like he was enjoying some private joke. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you? That’s why you’re so quiet all the time, huh? Because you’re thinking about him. Did you kiss him? Did y’all fuck in his fancy church? Man, I wish I could fuck a priest. But you’re just thinkin’ bout what it meant. What it could’ve been.”

I didn’t respond, my heart pounding in my chest. The fact that Vix, of all people, had picked up on that was unsettling.

How the hell did he know?

But his eyes weren’t malicious, just curious, like he was trying to figure me out in the most bizarre way. I was a puzzle that he couldn’t quite find all the pieces to just yet.

I leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes, trying to keep my emotions buried under layers of indifference.

“I’m not thinking about him,” I lied, my voice rough.

Vix just hummed, his gaze flickering over me like he could see right through the lie.

“That’s what you say,” he said softly. “But I can see it. You’re wearing your feelings like a jacket. A big ol’ priesty robe. It’s all over you, man. A priest don’t come visitin’ a criminal unless he cares about him.”

I didn’t have the energy to argue with him. Besides, Vix wasn’t wrong. But I couldn’t let him see how right he was. Not in here. Not with the whole world turned upside down, with everyone waiting for me to crack. An awful feeling crept up my spine, and I gasped.

“Do you get conjugals?” he said, almost frothing at the mouth.

If Vix, of all people, could see my feelings for Elias from my visitation visits…they all knew.

I stood up, walking toward the small metal sink in the corner of the cell. “Just drop it, Vix.”

Vix, to his credit, didn’t push further. He just watched me for a long moment before he let out a loud, fake yawn. “Alright, Dollar Doll. You’re the boss.”

I didn’t look back at him as I sat back down on my bed, pulling the thin blanket over my body. The hum of the prison outside felt louder now. The buzzing of the fluorescent lights and the muffled voices from down the hall were all blending together into a dull, relentless noise.

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