Page 108 of Beneath His Robes

“What are you doing?” I said, holding my ribs and trying to get back to the damn stage.

“You will see soon enough. Just making your hell nice and toasty, father fuck head.”

Something about the way he smiled wider from his words gave me a sinking feeling. The odor of blood was strong in my nose, and my mouth and clothes were coated. I couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Do you repent for your fucking sins? Do you feel any shred of shame for fucking a man, you sick depraved hypocrite?” Jack’s voice was too close now. Getting louder as I used the cross to support my body.

“What…do you want, Jack? What’s the fucking end game here?” I spit more blood onto the ground, my body even weaker than before. I couldn’t hold myself up, and I fell to my knees before the cross.

“For starters, I want you to be the damn priest you tout about bein’!” A roar in my ears. He was above me, and his taunting voice made my head throb.

“Upsy Daisy. You don’t get to lie down. Stand before your God.” Jack’s arms looped into mine, pulling me up to my feet, wrenching a scream from my throat at the pain in my ribs.

“Do you repent?”

That damn question was making me angry. I tried to swat at him.

“No! I choose Ronan. No matter how many times…you ask. It’ll be my answer every single time. I choose Ronan.”

My breathing was unsteady, my body shaking with the energy even to be held up by Jack’s arms. He pushed me into the cross, and I noticed too late that the hammer from the door was…in his hands.

“Jack…” I said, hesitating when he just smiled at me, holding my face up and firmly pressing my body into the rood tree. “What do you want from me?”

Jack lifted his hand, where I couldn’t see, high above my head. My hands were jerked above my head, that dizziness increasing, and more blood spilling from my mouth. I was choking. His hands were rough, ripping off my shirt from my body.

“St-Stop,” I said weakly, my tone pleading. He couldn’t do this to me. Why?

“Do you repent, you disgusting leper?” he was screaming in my face, and my pants were jerked off my body—nothing to shield me from his cruel, dark eyes.

“No…I choose…Ronan.”

Pain, so much pain, flooded through my body. The feeling of weakness was dimmed by the holy fire licking through my body. My hands. He smashed a nail into my hands, anchoring me onto the cross.

No…

“Do you repent!”

My entire body shook. Every beat of my heart had blood spraying down over my head and onto the ground. I was going to die.

“N-No! I. Choose. Ronan.”

Every amount of energy I had was sapped from my body. More of those nails were shoved into my mouth, my nose plugged, and my desperation to breathe caused me to swallow them. More blood, more pain. A spiral of fear and agony.

I was bone weary and couldn’t fight him. The pull on my skin when he tugged my feet killed me. It was the worst pain I had ever endured. Another nail slammed into the tops of my feet, my body stationed so sickeningly displayed on my own crucifix.

“Do you repent? Do you have any guilt at all for your lies? For using that dirty thing—” He poked my penis with the cold hammer, and I couldn’t even flinch away. The pain of my body slipping and my skin ripping from the weight. It was too much.

“No…” I cried, tears streaming down my face as I looked at him in his cold, dead eyes. “I fucking choose…Ronan.”

I knew I wasn’t making it out of here. I knew I wouldn’t get my happily ever after. The chance to tell Ronan I was going to do it. To renounce my vows and live my life for him. I made those vows all those years ago, but my heart was never mine to give. It was always Ronan’s.

I thought of his smile, his beautiful gray eyes, and his deep, calming voice.

I am so sorry, Ronan.

As Jack grabbed my dick and held another nail to my skin.

I am so sorry I am too late.

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