Page 122 of Beneath His Robes

The elevator ride down was just as silent. I stared at my reflection in the polished metal doors, watching the flickering image of myself.

A man hollowed out by rage, death, and pain, a man who had once dreamed of this moment with a kind of fevered obsession. And now that it was here, all I felt was…nothing, nothing but a numbing cold that only Elias could warm.

The elevator doors opened, and I stepped into the lobby, Father Franklin walking silently beside me. The city beyond the glass windows kept moving, oblivious to what had just happened, to what I had just witnessed.

People went about their lives, cars honked in the streets, and the world continued on, unmoved and uncaring.

I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore. I wanted to move forward. I wanted to let my soul rest the way I hoped the evil in theirs could.

I stepped out into the cold night air, giving a brief goodbye to the priest before leaving. The sharp bite of it all barely registered as I made my way to my car. When I turned the key, the engine roared to life, but the noise felt distant like it was coming from another world.

As I began to drive in the car, I had no destination, but it was okay, even though it was unknown.

The question of ‘Where should I go?’ kept floating through my head, but I had no answer.

Honestly, I didn’t know or have any answers, but I didn’t care.

The road stretched on, but the miles didn’t seem to matter. My mind was a tangled mess of thoughts, memories, and sensations, none of which made sense.

I couldn’t process it.

I couldn’t process any of it.

Like a beacon, I arrived at the cemetery where he lay to rest. When I finally pulled into the gravel of the parking area, I briefly wondered if he would be proud.

Would he feel this numb?

Would he be happy?

Would I ever feel like I was normal without him?

No.

When I got to his grave, I fell to my knees. The silence wrapped around me like a blanket, and I welcomed it. The faint hum of the animals in the distance, the wisps of the wind raging with the trees—everything was too loud and unbearably quiet, all at once.

I let the tears fall, staring at his name engraved on the stone, my chest tight.

What had I really expected?

What had I thought this moment would bring?

I had waited too long. Elias and I had fought so hard for this day. But now that it was over, it didn’t feel like a victory. It didn’t feel like anything at all, not without him.

I reached to trace his name with my fingertip, the motion mechanical. My hand shook just slightly as I lifted that hand to my lips. I could feel his warmth, the presence that he was here for me, just as he promised, and I cried harder.

I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Without Elias, there would be no goal to focus on, like taking the monster down.

The seconds ticked by on my watch, each one a reminder that time had moved on, and I was still stuck here. Alone now.

There was no peace. No end. Not truly. It was always death—the only true finality to any of this.

We could only welcome the silence, the emptiness.

I’d sat there for what felt like hours, the weight of the quiet pressing in from every side. The graveyard had always been the land of the dead, but now, it felt more like a cage.

It was the kind of cage that trapped you not with bars but with memories, with regrets. I had imagined this moment so many times—what it would feel like to see them gone, to finally have justice. And yet, now that it was over, I couldn’t shake the gnawing sense that nothing had been resolved. That something deeper, something rawer inside me, had been left behind.

I glanced at the time again.

---