Page 30 of Beneath His Robes

“Ronan,” I gasped, my voice raw. “Please.”

His fingers slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, pulling me closer, the warmth of his body pressing against mine in the freezing cold, so close that I could feel the beat of his heart, strong and steady, matching my own frantic rhythm.

“I know you’re scared, Elias,” he said quietly, the words wrapping around me like smoke. “But we’re already here. You and me. We’re already tangled up in this.”

I shook my head, the action weak, as if it was the only thing keeping me tethered to the ground. But even as I did, my heart betrayed me. My pulse quickened, my chest tightening with something more than frustration.

Desire…a desperate need to close the distance between us.

“I can’t,” I whispered again, the words cracking like fragile ice. “I can’t.”

Ronan didn’t answer at first. Instead, he leaned in, the weight of his gaze anchoring me in place. His lips were so close, I could almost taste them, feel the warmth of his breath, but he held back. Just barely.

“Why not?” he said, his voice low and dark, with something that made my pulse race. “Because of the vows you took? The ones that are supposed to make you whole? Or because you’re scared of what you’ll feel if you give in?”

The question landed like a hammer to my chest, and I staggered back, trying to distance myself from him, but the weight of his eyes kept me rooted.

“I don’t have a choice,” I said, my words ragged. “I’ve chosen my path. I’ve already given everything up for it.”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence between us, the quiet of the snow, the stillness of the world that seemed to hold its breath.

And then Ronan stepped forward, and this time, there was no hesitation in his movements. He reached out, grabbing my wrist with a force that startled me, pulling me toward him.

“You never gave up anything, Elias,” he growled, his voice thick with intensity. “You buried it. You buried me. But I’m still here. And you know it. You know I’m the one you’ve never been able to walk away from.”

I wanted to fight him, wanted to pull away, but every fiber of my being screamed to stay.

“I made a vow,” I choked out, trying to hold onto something, anything, that would keep me from falling back into this. “I swore…”

“You swore to serve…” he interrupted, his voice growing more urgent, more desperate. “But you never swore to forget what we were. You never swore to let me go. You never swore not to feel this.”

His fingers tightened around my wrist, and before I could stop myself, I was pulling him closer.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” I whispered, my voice breaking. The admission felt like it tore me in two. “But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep pretending.”

He didn’t answer, didn’t say a word.

Instead, he leaned in, his lips brushing against mine once more, this time with none of the hesitation, none of the uncertainty.

His kiss was demanding, sure, a declaration more than an apology as if this had always been destiny.

And when I kissed him back, it was as if everything I had fought for and built came crumbling down. The snow continued to fall, and the cold continued to bite, but there was only heat at that moment—only him.

When we finally pulled away, breathless, his eyes were full of that same fire. The same need that I had always felt but had been too afraid to touch.

“Now, you know, Elias,” he said, his voice low and rough, the words sending another wave of heat through me. “You don’t have to choose. Not now. Not anymore.”

I swallowed hard, my chest still tight with emotions I didn’t want to name. He was right, and that terrified me more than anything else. The way his fingers ghosted over my skin, so gentle it almost felt like he was testing me, teasing me, before he finally allowed himself to pull me closer. His lips, just a whisper from mine, were a torment—tantalizingly close but never quite meeting.

“You’re shaking,” he whispered, his lips brushing just beneath my ear, the words soft, like the caress of silk.

“I am not…” I tried to deny it, but my body betrayed me.

He chuckled softly, the sound rich and deep, vibrating against me like a low hum. The tremble under my skin was too obvious.

“You’re a terrible liar,” he murmured, his fingers sliding down to my waist, his touch so careful, but there was nothing gentle about the way he pulled me closer.

The heat of his chest pressed against mine, and I could feel his heart pounding, mirroring my own.

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