Page 52 of Beneath His Robes

“What?” I said, distraction and a haze lacing my tone.

“I liked your dance. You are truly beautiful. Thank you, Ronan.”

Hearing those words made me blush like a fucking idiot. Not realizing how much I needed his acceptance and approval.

I felt so much pride.

I gave myself a minute to feel that warmth, happiness, and contentment because I knew.

I knew that as soon as we left this slice of heaven, we would be thrown back into our hell.

ChapterSeventeen

Elias

I gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles aching from the pressure. The road ahead was empty, but inside the car, everything felt suffocating. I could feel the heat of the ice on my skin still burning on my lips, my body…my cock.

Every moment since then had been a slow burn, an irritation I couldn’t shake. I didn’twantto feel this, but there it was, gnawing at me, reminding me of the boundaries I’d just crossed.

I glanced at Ronan, sitting stiffly beside me, his eyes locked on the trees outside the window as though he could ‘will’ the world to stop spinning if he stared at them hard enough. I wanted to say something, anything, to fill the heavy silence.

But what is there to say? It’s not like either of us can pretend this wasn’t a colossal mess.

I didn’t even want to be near him right now, not like this. It was too much, too complicated. I hated that this had happened, hated thathehad made me forget all the rules I’d built my life on…again!

But most of all, I hated the fact that I couldstillfeel the cool touch of the ice warring with the heat of his mouth on my body. Every part of me screamed that it shouldn’t have happened…but it did. Despite the cage against my sex, I came for him.

I sinned for him.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and finally broke the silence. My voice was rough, and the unspoken tension was creating shortness in my tone. “We shouldn’t have?—”

“I know,” Ronan interrupted, his tone sharp, more clipped than usual.

He turned his head to look at me for the first time since it happened, his eyes dark with frustration and exasperation.

“But I’m not in the mood to hear you fucking reject me again, Elias. My mom’s in the hospital. Let’s just get there, okay? Bitch at me later.”

I could feel the air shift, his words hitting me like a slap in my stupid face, but I couldn’t stop the irritation rising in my chest, making me feel hot for a different reason.

Of course, his mom was in the hospital. I was making this about myself when Missis Saint Clare needed him right now. Shame swarmed in my gut like anger.

“Yeah, well, this—” I gestured between us, unable to stop the pain, guilt, and anger from spilling out. “This can’t be ignored, Ronan. You think I’m just going to forget what happened? You think I can just?—”

I stopped myself, the anger burning a hole in my gut.

“I’m a priest. I took vows. This…this shouldn’t have happened. You should have never touched me. I shouldn’t have let you.”

Ronan’s jaw tightened. He didn’t even flinch. Of course, he wouldn’t. Not when he was proud of making me finally break. My control was a thinning veil ever since he walked into my confessional. The man in me won tonight, and so did the raw, primal human part of my body I couldn’t cull.

“I’m not asking you to forget it,” Ronan’s voice was cold now, guarded. “I’m not asking you to do anything, okay? I didn’t touch you, Mon Pur. No rules were broken. It was fucking biology, so get off your fucking high horse for once and remind your holier-than-thou ass that my fucking mother is in the hospital. Or does that matter? Do you think she’s a lost cause to your god, and so she isn’t worth the mercy?”

His hand clenched into a fist at his side, his frustration palpable.

“My mom is…fucked in the head in so many ways but unlike your cushy life with perfect “Brady Bunch” family, I have never had that. I have one fucking person. Miranda. And tonight, I failed her. So just fuck off with your guilt, Elias. I can’t entertain your back-and-forth bullshit. I am focused on what’s actually important.”

I bit back the words that wanted to come out, the ones that would make everything worse.I was the one who got his mom to the hospital, the one who was there to get her help.

Me, not him.

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