Page 70 of Trusting the Fall

Thebutterysmellofpastry does nothing to calm the storm swirling in my stomach as I sit, staring out the window of Sweet Escape.

I’m meeting Westley at eight to officially hand over the salon, but I barely managed a wink of sleep last night.

Leif left my bed just after two in the morning.

Over the last eight weeks that we’d been sleeping together, I never let him stay the night. Apart from the first night when I was getting my fill of the best sex I’d ever had, I made sure every other time stuck to the same rules I’d always set for myself with a casual partner.

Phone number, essential.

Names, not essential.

Sleepovers, absolutely not.

Never have I experienced the belly-hopping feeling of seeing a partner’s name pop up on my screen with a message.

Never have I said a partner’s name and had it feel so emotionally evoking.

Never have I hated waking up in my bed alone.

Any other time Leif has come around, it has been non-stop touching for pleasure. He wouldn’t leave my bed until we had gone for multiple rounds. Always getting our fill of each other.

But last night, we only did it that one time and then he held me tight in his arms, his fingers trailing across my skin in gentle admiration until he slipped out without a word.

I watched him dress, then he smiled at me, kissed my forehead, and left. Because that’s all I’ve ever let him have of me before.

“Do you want anything to eat, Claire?” Liv asks. “Or are you okay with your coffee?”

I look over my shoulder as Liv flicks her long brunette braid back over her shoulder.

A smearing of whatever sticky glaze she’d been working with shining on the apple of her cheek. I love the way she wears her creations every time I see her. I swivel on the stool to face her.

“I’m good with my coffee, but could I get a takeaway box of some goodies for the boys? I want to say thanks for all the work they did.”

“Sure, anything in particular?”

“I think Westley, my supervisor, visited a fair bit. Can you remember what his usual order was?” Blush floods her cheeks, making me smile. “I take it you’re familiar with Westley?”

Liv busies herself with assembling a pastry box and starts filling it with various treats. “He’s very nice, but I’m not looking to date at the moment.”

“Really?” I ask. “Is it okay to ask why you feel that way?”

Liv’s always so sweet. I feel like she’s got her shit together way better than I do. Maybe she can help my confused brain understand what I’m looking for in life and why it feels like every reason seems to point me to Leif.

She takes a deep breath and closes the pastry box. “A few years ago, my house was broken into. I was left for dead. Six weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I don’t have all the answers from that night. In fact, I lost a lot of my memories from the year leading up to the accident. But, now that I have a daughter, she’s my only priority.”

Well, holy shit. Don’t my problems seem a bit dramatic in comparison?

“Fuck.” I gasp and shake my head. “Liv.” My eyes take in the bakery, making sure there’s no one close enough to hear my next words before I lean in closer to her. “Were you…?” I can barely think the word, let alone say it.

Understanding coats her features, and her eyes go wide as an owl. “Oh, no,” she quickly reassures me. “No, it turns out I was pregnant before the break-in. The trouble is, I don’t remember dating anyone before the accident, and none of my friends knew of anyone I’d been seeing or otherwise. My phone was taken during the break-in, and no one came around looking for me after that. I’m guessing I may have had a one-night stand, and that’s why no one came knocking. When Daisy was six months old, we moved here from Queens Coast for a new start.”

“I am in shock and awe right now. You run this bakery on your own and raise your daughter. If you ever need anything, you’ll tell me, right?”

Her cherub face is soft with a smile. “Thanks, Claire. My neighbour helps me a lot. There’s this little social group of older ladies on our street. They’re quite the rebel crew, actually.”

“Like the Golden Girls?”

“Oh my god! They aresothe Golden Girls.” She laughs.