Page 10 of XOXO, Valentina

But he wasn’t. He’d been gone for twelve years, and there wasn’t a day that passed when I didn’t think of him. Sometimes it hurt worse than usual, but it didn’t rip my heart out like it once had. When Shane had been a toddler, I’d cried every single day.

It still wasn’t easy, especially since Shane resembled his handsome father more and more every day.

As I took a quick shower and went through my nightly routine, I imagined how different it would be if Montel were alive. We would be living in one of the larger houses on base. Montel would be a sergeant or higher, and we would probably have a house full of kids. We’d wanted at least three.

I’d have a network of army wives, and I would plan charities and volunteer at fundraisers.

I would be a completely different person if Montel hadn’t died in Afghanistan twelve years ago. I’d be a wife, and I wouldn’t have to crawl into an empty bed every night for the rest of my life.

Despite my best intentions, my mind drifted to Mr. Morales. I imagined what it might be like to have his lips against mine.

I couldn’t forget his expression when he’d pointed out my underwear mishap. How I wished I’d been wearing something other than sensible white cotton panties… Something silky and sexy enough to drive him crazy, the same as he did to me.

I slipped into bed, imagining what Mr. Morales was doing. Was he getting into bed, too?

Longing coursed through me at the thought of Mr. Morales in bed. My heart quickened, and my skin tingled.

After twelve years of being single, I knew how to take the edge off desire without any help from a man. I slid my hand under the elastic waistband of my boring mom panties.

Guilt knotted my belly as I touched the aching bundle of nerves at my core. I knew it was unprofessional to think of kissing Mr. Morales while I touched myself, but I couldn’t help it.

I bet his beard would feel soft against my skin, and he would taste as good as he smelled. Citrus and spice. His tongue would dip into my mouth and trace the seam of my lips until I opened for him.

A buzzing sound pierced the air, dragging me from my fantasies. I jerked upright, my heart hammering in my chest.

It was my phone, and it buzzed again. I went into mom-panic mode for a split second before remembering my only child was safe and sound, or as much as possible while playing video games.

Something else must be wrong. No one called this late unless it was an emergency. I grabbed my phone and saw it was my mother calling.

I swiped to answer. “What’s wrong?”

“Hi, sweetheart,” my mom said. “Is that how you answer the phone? You sound like you’re out of breath. Did you just go running? You know I don’t like you running at night.”

Yanking the covers up to my chest, I sat back against the headboard. “I wasn’t running. Why are you calling so late? What’s the matter?”

My mom chuckled. “You have a few hours before you will turn into a pumpkin, honey.”

“Is everything okay with Dad?” My father had recently retired and taken up adventure hiking. He was currently hiking the Grand Canyon with several buddies.

“Your father is fine. I was only calling to tell youForever Loveis on television right now. I thought you might like to watch it.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome. I’ve got to go. Commercial break is over.”

My mom had no idea about Netflix, and it wasn’t the time to tell her. I hung up and put my phone back on the nightstand.

A moment later, there was a knock on my door, and then it opened.

“Can I go to a party at Zack’s Friday?” Shane asked. “It’s his birthday.”

“Will his parents be there?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Will there be girls there too?”

Shane flashed his perfect smile, which had cost five thousand dollars at the orthodontist. “I hope so,” he said. “I don’t want to go to a lame party without any girls.”

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