Page 114 of Bria and the Tiger

Chapter Fifteen

He showed up just before nine. She let him into her apartment and wrapped her arms around her own torso instead of his. He looked tired and sad, and she wanted desperately to comfort him, but he was stiff and uncomfortable, and he wouldn’t look her in the eye.

She had spent the last couple of hours hoping that he would choose her. Such a selfish, terrible thing to do, but she couldn’t help it.

He hadn’t chosen her.

She’d known the moment she opened the door and seen him standing there with his drawn face and hunched shoulders. He was a ghost of his usual self, and for a moment she felt pure hatred for his mother. What had she said to him?

“I’m sorry to come by without calling.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“It’s okay. Come in.”

He followed her into the living room and sat on the couch. She perched nervously beside him as he studied his hands. “I’m sorry my mom interrupted us like that.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” she said. “I understand.”

There was a bitter undertone to his laugh. “You don’t. But you’re about to.”

“Jace, I -”

“I need to tell you something, Bria. Okay? Will you just listen and hear me out?”

“Yes.” She folded her hands together so she wouldn’t try and hold his.

“Depression runs in my family. My aunt committed suicide when she was in her thirties, and you know that my brother Jonah killed himself. He had severe depression. My mom suspected he did, and she tried to get him help, but he refused. It was bad in his teens, but got a little better after he graduated high school. He met his mate, Davra, and they moved in together. The depression seemed to be gone. Or maybe he had just hidden it really well. I don’t know. Anyway, it came back, and he was struggling. Davra couldn’t deal with it. She left him, and a month later he hung himself in his bedroom.”

“I’m so sorry.” She had to touch him. She had to.

He took her hand when she curled it around his and held it in a tight grip. “I was diagnosed with depression too. I’m not as stubborn as Jonah though. I was willing to try medication, and it helps. After Jonah died, it got pretty bad, so I started seeing a therapist. Her name is Dr. Martin. She’s nice. She’s good at what she does.”

She squeezed his hand and he studied her for a moment before staring at the floor again. “Tabitha tried to be supportive, but I knew it bothered her. Jonah had been dead for almost a year and I was still doing therapy. She thought I was weak for needing medication and therapy. She used the no kids thing as her reason for leaving, but it wasn’t just that. She hated that I couldn’t force myself to be happy. Couldn’t beat the depression. Honestly, I wasn’t surprised when she left me.”

He paused. “My depression got worse and I had suicidal thoughts a couple weeks after she moved out. I made the mistake of telling my parents. I shouldn’t have, I don’t know why I did, but they freaked out. Mom wanted to put me in the hospital, but I was an adult, and she couldn’t force me to go. But I did get help.”

He gave her another fleeting glance. “I told Dr. Martin what was happening. She worked with my doctor to adjust my medications, and she made me do therapy sessions three times a week instead of just once. It helped. I started to feel more like myself. But my parents were so worried. They were sure I was going to kill myself like Jonah. I felt really guilty about what I was putting them through, you know?”

Bria squeezed his hand. “Kids always worry their parents, honey.”

“I know but… I decided the best thing to do would be to avoid relationships for a while. I told my mom and dad and,” he paused, “they were so happy and relieved. I couldn’t blame them for it. They had already lost one son because of a relationship gone bad, and almost lost their other one. Anyway, seeing how relieved they were, made me realize I was making the right decision. I joined the Heat Me Up site and I haven’t let myself get attached to anyone.”

He fell silent and she shifted a little closer to him on the couch. She rested her head on his shoulder and he stiffened a little before kissing the top of her head. “Only then I met you. And you’re sweet and funny and so damn beautiful. I told myself that I didn’t want anything more than sex, but I was wrong. You wanted a relationship with me, and I was starting to want that too.”

She brushed her hand through his thick hair. “I know, honey.”

“My parents don’t want me to date you. They don’t think I’m ready to be in a relationship again.”

“What do you believe?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He stared at their entwined hands.

“It does matter. You can’t live your life doing what your parents want you to do. You’re an adult and -”

“My dad had a heart attack.”

“What? Today?”

“No, after I got sick. I had no idea. Mom told me tonight that Jonah’s death, and the stress of me being sick, was too much for him and he had a heart attack. They kept it from me because I was still struggling.”

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