Chapter 1

Someplacesaremagical.

Not the pixie dust or golden sparkles kind of magic, but the kind that sinks down into your soul and blossoms in a shimmering rainbow only for you. Our cabin is that place for me.

Most people might look at it and just see its flaws—the faded wood, patched metal roof, and the third step that’s bound to give way any day now. Don’t even get me started on the musty smell that no amount of cleaner can purge, the creaky stairs, or the lack of air conditioning.

But they don’t remember nights spent curled up on the couch with Grandma watching bad TV long after Dad went to sleep. Bacon cooking on the stove in the morning and smelling up the whole house. Hikes through the woods or down to the lake to go fishing. We never caught much, but that wasn’t really the point. Or so Dad likes to say.

It’s those things that matter. They ignite my soul and fill my heart in a way nothing else seems to.

I thought it might be lonely after Grandma passed, that it’d lose its magic, but it never did. Not when Dad married Elise a year later or even after they had my little sister, May. I suppose Mom probably stayed there too, but I don’t remember her.

She was my first failure. One I managed to make before I could even speak properly. At least memories of her never touched the cabin.

None of the bad stuff did—until this past winter when I nearly killed my little sister.

Now, each moment increases my desire to run for the woods and never look back.

I no longer hear my dad or Elise as they rattle on like this is some normal, happy getaway to our favorite place. Like we aren’t really here to fix the cabin up and sell it.

My fault. Another thing I’ve ruined. My hand clenches.

They wouldn’t say that, but they don’t have to. The taint of misery hovering over everything is worse than the summer heat and just as punishing. We haven’t been back here since the accident. Too many hard memories, probably. And we need the money. Even me dropping out of college and getting a job didn’t make much of a dent in all we owe. Medical bills, physical therapy for May…

I kick a stone with the toe of my boot and watch it tumble into the lake, sending up little ripples. It doesn’t satisfy, doesn’t ease the guilt trying to drag me into the water and drown me. If I had a boulder or half the dang hill to chuck into the water, maybe it’d make me feel better.

Dad mumbles something about scaring off the fish, but I ignore him. Not like they’re biting anyway.

He and Elise could be a postcard, sitting there in their coordinating plaid with brimmed hats and fishing poles in hand. A happy mockery of my misery. How can they be so…so fine with everything?

May bounces into my line of sight, humming some song from her favorite cartoon. If anything was going to scare the fish away, it’d be that. She stumbles over a stone and I make to rise, but she’s already skipping ahead, unbothered.

“Lia, Lia, Lia,” she chants my name to the tune.

I cock a brow her way, waiting for the inevitable question to follow. Nothing dims her spirit. If only I could be like that.

She latches onto my arm, almost pulling me off my log and onto the dirt. “I want to walk. Come with me.”

“All right. All right,” I sigh. Anything to get away from this... I glance at Dad and Elise before rolling my eyes.Whatever this hell is.

May releases me and bounces through the air with all her six-year-old joy. I rise, dusting off my pants and freeing little bits of bark that cling to my legs.

“Where are y’all going?” Elise’s pale brows crease in concern as she slips into mother mode.

I shrug, but the casual act belies the emotions twisting through me. Can’t be any worse than here. Besides, I’m not letting May out of my sight. Already, she skips away from camp toward one of the pathways leading into the surrounding oak and pine. I say, “We’ll be back soon.”

“Don’t go too far,” Dad calls as I follow my sister into the woods.

I savor the breeze in my hair, the earthy scent of the forest. Each breath, each step away from the lake, calms me. Sunlight dapples through the trees. Birds chirp overhead. If I close my eyes, it’s like stepping back in time. For a brief moment, I can delude myself that everything is happy and wonderful. This is a long weekend trip to our favorite place, complete with fishing, cookouts, hikes, and building blanket forts with Grandma’s old quilts.

My whole body goes light and loose. I spread my fingers, trailing them through the air.

I’m still in college, thinking about applying for internships and the parties I’ll go to with my friends. May is happy and healthy. My parents aren’t burdened with medical debt.

Concern snaps me from my daydream as I hear May skid to a stop ahead of me.

“Lia?” She twists around.