Page 45 of Destined for the Fae King

My eyes are wide open—God, why are they open?—but his are closed, as if he’s enjoying this, as if he feels something, even if I do not. And he’s the king. I’m supposed to want this.

Idowant it. Or I did.

I’m trying to become his wife, for goodness sake. I have to want him.

So, I part my lips, close my eyes, and try to enjoy the kiss, to forget that he’s a king and there are probably people watching and just enjoy sharing this moment with someone. And maybe, for a brief moment, I’m successful. But the next thing I know, he’s pulling back, his hand falling away from my face, and I can finally breathe again.

I pry my eyes open again and force a smile to my face. Vasilius looks me up and down with his hooded gaze, his attention so strong it’s almost a caress in itself.

He has to know it wasn’t great, right? Maybe he’s just good at faking it?

“Well now,” he says, “I will certainly remember that.”

I force my smile wider and tuck a strand of hair behind my ears before glancing away. Remember it in a good way or a bad way?I want to ask, but don’t.

“Thank you,” I whisper, at a loss for words. All I want to do is run and hide, but there’s no hiding from a king. Not to mention that it would go against my plans.

Damn it all to hell, how am I supposed to keep going with them now?

Vasilius takes my hand in his and places a kiss on the back.

“Of course,” he says, exuding all his gentlemanly manner. Finally, he rises to his feet. He says something else by way of farewell, but I completely miss the words. They’re drowned out by the pounding of my pulse in my ears, the panic rising in my brain, and the effort of keeping my smile in place.

Distantly, I watch him leave, counting the seconds until I can flee.

The number is entirely too low when I stand and make a beeline for the hedge maze, doing everything in my power not to run and not to look back.

Chapter 18

Iturn down apath in the hedge maze, not looking or caring where I go.

“This is going great. So great,” I mumble, my voice squeaking more than I’d ever admit.

I want this, don’t I? I was so excited to get to Faery. And the prospect of marrying a king, becoming a queen? I was genuinely thrilled about it. Who doesn’t want to be a royal? Yes, my uncle kind of shoved me onto this path, but it’s one I wanted to go down.

I want to be here.

Entering this contest, winning it, could fix everything. As queen, I’d have more than enough money to support my family for generations. Check the box on keeping Mom and my brothers taken care of, as well as pleasing Uncle Matias and Aunt Dalia. Selena would be taken care of too. I’d get to stay in Faery, the world I’ve dreamed about all my life. I’d marry a great man who is handsome, respected, and powerful.Iwould be respected and powerful, not just some poor girl on the outskirts of the coven who doesn’t fit in anywhere. It’s the life I’ve dreamed about for years. It’s what I want.

“But what if I don’t want it?” I fling my hands down in exasperation as I round another corner, the hedges a blur of color in my periphery. I hardly notice them, or anything, beyond my thoughts racing one after another.

It’s not like I didn’t try. He was only going to pick one of us anyway, right? So, it’s okay if it’s not me. No one can say I embarrassed the family name. Hopefully, I’ll still get some gifts or something to support the family. Maybe they’ll even let me stay, you know, far away from here, where my uncle can’t find me and call me an embarrassment or something?Yes, Mira, excellent idea.

I let out a groan and drop my face into my palms.

Damn it, this is not how things were supposed to go.

It was supposed to be magical. Fireworks and all that. He was supposed to realize he wanted me, I was supposed to want him, and we would live happily ever after like in a fairy tale.

A bird call snares my attention, and I glance up, taking in the bright blue sky above. One breath after another fills my lungs, calming some of my racing thoughts. I didn’t know I wasn’t going to feel anything. How could I know that?

“Maybe the feelings will come?” I ask a bird as it flies by. “Just because there’s nothing now doesn’t mean it can’t be something, someday, right?”

But even as I say it, I know it for the lie it is. The king is not mine. He never will be. There would have beensomethingthere. The little sparks I’d felt around him wouldn’t have faltered and gone out so completely.

“Not the kiss you’d hoped for?” says a deep voice.

The sudden question has me nearly leaping out of my skin. As it is, I spring off the ground, nearly falling in my haste to twist around. I might have screamed, had a gasp not lodged itself in my throat.

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