We sit in silence for a minute, and when Cora makes no move to leave, I ask, “How was Bailey going to help you?”
She pulls in a long breath then lets it out and looks over at me. “It seemed obvious the king was going to pick her. Even I could see that, and nothing I did was turning him from her. So, I decidedthat my next best plan was to appeal to the future queen for help.” She glances off into the courtyard, staring at nothing. “I told her about my family. The hell they put me through. She said that if she became queen—” Cora shakes her head. “If. She was too modest for her own good.” Another tear slips free and she brushes it away. “If she became queen, she was going to ask the king to let me stay, even if my family demanded me back for however brief a time. Keep them away too. Maybe the king could find me a good match with a noble or something.”
She lifts one shoulder.
I hug my arms around myself. Her wish is like Alex and Grace’s. Different but similar all the same. Does anyone want the king for himself? Tears sting at the corner of my eyes. Anyone but Bailey?
What a mess we all are.
“I don’t want to marry the king,” I say, feeling the need to confess something to ease the balance between us. “I don’t want to be queen.”
“And that’s what has you wandering around in yesterday’s clothes?” It’s not condemnation in her gaze when she asks this time, more genuine curiosity.
“Something like that.”
She nods but doesn’t ask more.
“I don’t want to marry him,” I say again. “But if somehow I get stuck with him, I can make you the same promise Bailey did.”
Cora snaps her head in my direction.
“I’ll do whatever I can to help you stay here and keep your family away.”
“You’d do that?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
She huffs. “I haven’t exactly been nice to you.”
“No,” I admit. “But I think I understand your reasons a little more.”
The sun has risen, the world fully wakening, and I can almost feel like sand in the hourglass running out before Fia comes to wake me with coffee. Except she won’t find me.
I stand from the bench. “We should get back before our maids find us missing and panic.”
“I’ll keep it to myself,” Cora says.
“Huh?” I glance down at her where she still sits on the bench.
“Whatever you were up to.” She gestures around us. “I won’t tell.”
“Oh.” I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry as memories of the night before rush back. “Thank you.”
“Maybe…” She looks up at me, and when she smiles, I know it’s the first genuine one I’ve seen from her. “Maybe we can do better with each other going forward.”
I smile at her in return. “I’d like that.”
My room is still dark once I slip inside and close the door behind me. There’s no time to savor the feeling of relief before it all gets smashed to bits.
“I’m disappointed” comes a voice from the shadows.
I startle, whirling around with my back to door, palm gripping the handle in case I need to flee.
But running won’t help. I’ve been caught. Again.
Fia stands from the stool at my dressing table, shaking her head like a mother who has caught her child sneaking in after a night of drinking and debauchery. Except Fia and I aren’t that far apart in age and she doesn’t have any kids to have practiced her disappointment on.
“Fia…” I start, unsure what to say.