I didn’t want to be cold or heartless, but if that was how I came across, then so be it. It was the only way to protect myself. Protect the people I loved.
But with Lily, I felt anything but cold. In fact, my heart was pumping so hard, it felt like rocket fuel surged through my veins. I burned for her.
Her comments stung, but I knew deep down that she was right. I should’ve told her everything. I should’ve trusted her, but it wasn’t something that came easily to me. I wasn’t used to showing my emotions or even letting myself feel them. That wasn’t what my family needed, what the brand needed.
They needed strength. Confidence. Control.
But Lily was pushing me to open up. To communicate more. And it made me feel vulnerable in such a way that left me exposed. Weak.
After my parents’ death, I’d vowed to never let myself feel that way again. I’d never allow myself to love something so deeply that I could be hurt so intensely. So, I’d suppressed my emotions. I’d denied the existence of my heart. And I’d been good at it. So good that everyone now believed that’s who I truly was.
“I want…” She let out a shaky breath. Her pupils were dark, almost black.
“Mm?” I hummed, soaking in the feel of her skin, the warmth of her closeness. I didn’t want to think about the past; I wanted to focus on the future.
But Lily wasn’t my future, as much as I might want her to be. Which was why I should stop, but I couldn’t seem to make myself. I’d never felt so at war with myself. I’d never wanted someone so badly.
My wife was going to drive me mad.
“Is this what you want? What you need from me?” I pushed, unable to resist. My patience was unraveling by the second.
But then she placed her hands against my chest and shoved. Not hard, but hard enough to snap me out of it, to make me take a step back. “Oh, fuck off, Graham.”
“You sure that’s what you want?” I arched my brow, challenging her as I ran my hand up her thigh, unable to resist. I couldn’t stop thinking of the feel of her skin—so silky. So smooth. I couldn’t stop touching her. I didn’t want to.
“Yes. No.” She groaned, goose bumps forming beneath my hand. “I just… I want you to talk to me.”
Based on her body’s reactions to me, I got the feeling that wasn’t all she wanted. I maintained eye contact, determined not to be the first to look away. But fuck me, she was something. Sassy and strong and beautiful. This wasn’t just about the physical attraction—though my cock hardened at the sight of her. I respected Lily.
The entire time she’d worked for me, I’d always secretly wondered if her skin was as soft as I’d hoped. Her lips as welcoming as I’d dreamed. Her body as supple as I’d imagined.
And now, she was in my arms.
I hadn’t even kissed her, but she was already so responsive. Eyes dilated, pupils blown wide. Lips wet and begging for mine. Her small hands clutching my shirt to keep me close.
“I’m talking to you now.”
“Keep talking.” Her voice was breathy with want.
“That’s all you want me to do? Talk?” I skimmed my nose along the edge of her jaw until I reached her ear. “You don’t want me to fuck you?” I whispered. “Make you scream my name with pleasure?” Instead of cursing me.
“But, but—” She sputtered. “I thought you didn’t mix business with pleasure.”
How could I resist when she looked like this? Sounded like this? Desperate and needy and so fucking pretty.
I dragged my thumb down her throat, settling on her pulse point. Her heart was beating quickly, its pace matching my own.
I met her eyes, watching her. Waiting. “Apparently, you’re the exception.”
She swallowed hard, mesmerizing me with the long column of her throat. I imagined sliding my cock into her mouth, watching her take me deep.
“Do you truly believe I’m not attracted to you?” I arched up against her, letting her feel how hard I was for her.
She gasped. “I—you… What?”
“Because I am. You make me feel desperate, Lil.” I kissed her collarbone, the words tumbling out of me. She wanted me to talk, and now I couldn’t stop. “This—” I placed her hand over my heart then slid it down to rest on my erection “—this is what you do to me.”
“I-I…” She let out a shaky breath, and I catalogued all her reactions. Memorizing them.