Page 112 of Echo and the Homicidal Sea Panda

“I’m not weak. I don’t need you carrying me around,” Echo murmured.

How many times had he carried Echo in his arms? It had never been a problem before. “I never said you were weak, nor do I think you are.”

Echo closed his eyes a moment. When he reopened them, he had a strained expression.

Mael searched his mate’s face, trying to find clues as to what was happening. Something was different. Had their time apart caused too much distance? The day before had been fine—before the cops had shown up—so he didn’t think it was their time apart. He reached out and cupped Echo’s face trying to bridge whatever gap was there.

Echo flinched at his touch.

Mael held his breath a moment, cold coursing through his veins. “Is this about yesterday?”

“No,” Echo said.”

“What’sgoing on here?” Mael asked. “Why are you recoiling away from me?”

Echo stared at him, silent a few seconds. “Remember when you said… I was femme, you were masc, so we fit… and that you’d not inherently changed who you were?”

Mael’s frown deepened. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I love my feminine side, but therearerare days where it’s just not there.” He glanced down at his swollen stomach. “Even with this.” He lifted his gaze, capturing Mael’s. “It’s not often, but… it happens. Today I woke up, and she’s just not around.”

Mael nodded, though he was still a bit confused.“Okay…but I don’t get why that’s causing you to pull away from me.”

“You saidI was femme, you were masc… so we fit.” Echo paused, appearing pained. “Do I still fit on the days when I’mnotfemme?”

Mael blinked a few times.“Of courseyou do.”

Echo moved closer to him. “Are you sure? Because I don’t want to cross the line or freak you out.”

“What line?”

“This is the worst fucking day for this to happen,” Echo snapped. “We’re about to go stand in front of the council and need to be a united front.” He winced. “Butcanwe be united if I’m not the person you want beside you?”

“Baby, I don’t understand.”

“It feels like you’ve been using my femininity to shield yourself from having to face the fact you’re in a relationship with a man. It hasn’t been a problem until today when I wake up and there’s no femme here.”

Suddenly, Echo’s concerns became crystal clear in his mind. Mael closed his eyes for two seconds, dragging in a shaky breath.

“Actually, Havoc and I had a discussion along similar lines when we stopped for a break a few weeks ago. He told me my theory was full of shit and to stop seeing you as the girl in the relationship because it was, and I quote,heteronormative bullshit.”

After that conversation, Mael had reflected on that conversation for a good, long while. He’d realized hehadused Echo’s femininity to shield himself from the truth. He’d avoided having to take a long, hard look at the fact he had changed. Claiming he hadn’t had been a lie. A lie he’d told himself so he didn’t have to think too hard about the seismic shift that had occurred the minute Echo had entered his life.

Havoc had helped him see that. He was a man… in love with a man.

Echo’s blurred gender lines didn’t change that fact. Having suggested they did had been disrespectful to his mate.

“Do you remember when Tempest asked if you were gay or bi… and you claimed you wereEchosexual?”

Mael winced.

“It felt like a denial,” Echo said. “Like you couldn’t let go of your straight identity and see youhavechanged. I’ve feared challenging that. If I did, would I push you away? So I stayed silent because I didn’t want to lose you.”

“So you’ve lived in fear… Worried that a day like today might shatter my illusions and destroy what we have.”

Echo nodded, a shine of tears in his eyes.

Pain lanced his chest at the thought he’d hurt Echo because of his unwillingness to accept the change within.

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