Page 35 of Never Bound

I inhaled and exhaled thoughtfully before handing it back to Milagros, trying to recall the thought that had slipped away. “The exam!” I exclaimed, sitting bolt upright in the hammock and sending it swinging wildly, while a shocked boy and cat clung desperately to the rope.

“I can’t believe I never told you, considering o-chem is kind of the reason we—well, it’s the reason we’re here,” I said. “Obviously, when I found out, we weren’t exactly on speaking terms, but still.”

“Wait.” Now it was his turn to sit up, nearly flipping the whole thing over. That was game over for Millie, whose paws landed on the tile below with a tiny littlemeowof protest. “You mean you passed?”

“Yes!”

“Lou, that’s amazing!”

And here I was enveloped in the much-delayed hug and kiss of congratulations, the one I had imagined a million times. But never in Erica Muller’s hammock.

“Not that amazing. It was only a B-plus.”

“Are you kidding me? Do you remember when we started? You didn’t even know the difference between ether and ethanol.”

“Hey!” I protested. “I did, too.”

“Ah, that’s not the way I remember it,” he said. “Then again, I also remember you being naked most of the time, so maybe don’t rely on my memory. Anyway,” he added. “I’m proud of you.”

“You are?”

“Of course. And I always have been. And since I’m not running away, I can promise to say that more often.”

An hour later, I was feeling rather relieved and pleased and buzzed and high all at once, so it was only when I heard more jazz arpeggios drifting out of the living room that I realized he had disappeared with no explanation. Rather a habit he had. I wandered back in, but he had already left the piano. Instead, I found him standing at the bookshelf with a volume open in front of him. Glancing up, he slammed it shut hastily.

“You don’t have to look so guilty, you know,” I said as he slid it back into its place on the shelf. “You aren’t in trouble.”

“Not this time.”

I bent down to glance at the title:The Collected Works of W. B. Yeats.

“Poetry? You?”

He looked sheepish. “And in English. And nobody’s getting dismembered or baked in a pie and fed to a family member or anything,” he said. “See what you’re doing to me?”

From the doorway, Erica cleared her throat. We both turned around.

“It’s getting late,” she said. “And everyone here is on their way to being too tired, drunk, and/or stoned to take you back. So to quote another famous poet, if you’ve got to go, go now.” On her lips, the professor wore the knowing little smile I had first glimpsed during her office hours all those weeks ago. “Or else you’ve got to stay all night.”

HIM

“You know, I’m off duty right now,” I hinted, gazing past Louisa’s shoulder and out the kitchen window again, to find the moon still blanketed by clouds.

Well, shit. After all, it wasn’t too often I got a chance to lie back in a hammock with nothing to do but gaze at the wonders of space. Let alone with a beautiful girl relaxed and undone—and willing?—in my arms, one who miraculously didn’t hate me despite my having been a complete asshole to her for the past two days. And who just might have a future as a doctor, after all. And who was currently risking everything, up to and including that future, to help me find my sister.

And yet.

Do you think you’re going to get lucky again?

Louisa had said I had a gambler’s soul. She must be right because here I was doubling down on a losing hand, again. What else could explain my delusion that what we had in that hammock, in this house, could ever be real? As if my agreeing to stay meant some kind of happily ever after when literally no part of it involved happy, or ever, or after?

There are no safe choices.Well, no shit. The choices were between being a slave and (probably) being dead.

In my experience, days that started off shit didn’t improve with time. But this one was only getting better.

So maybe I wasn’t losing as badly as I’d thought. And here she was, standing there with crossed arms, brow furrowed unreadably. Was she annoyed? Scared? Disgusted? Aroused?

Was it time to raise the bet again?

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