Page 40 of Never Bound

“How did you touch yourself, Lou? Show me,” he requested, eyes already fixated on where he longed to see my own hand go.

“Just like this.” I knew it from muscle memory, from all those soundless, lonely nights, my fingers sliding down my inner thigh, brushing against my swollen lips, massaging my clit gently, just exploring, then more than exploring—then moaning, then stifling screams.All those nights.My legs and hips curled and contracted at the touch, wanting more of him there.

“And what else did you think about?” he whispered.

“I thought about—you,” I said. “Touching yourself. Thinking about me.”

“I did, you know,” he said.

“Show me?”

Now he was gripping his cock under the water, which hardened further still under his stroke, even as I watched. I could see better what I’d done to him, that hard, full length under his palm, working up and down the shaft, his eyes glassy and feverish with desire for me.

And for the first time, I thought about what it might feel like. Inside.

“In my mind, I so badly wanted it to be you there, looking just like you are now,” he said, leaning over me as I splayed across the pool deck. “Every gorgeous inch of you.”

“Such a naughty boy,” I said, releasing a sharp moan even at the image of him wanting me that way. “You know, somebody should really whip you for that.”

“Well, if it has to happen, I hope it’s you.”

“I couldn’t.”

“I know,” he said. “That’s why. And I promise I did try. Not to, I mean. Because I knew it could never happen. Shouldn’t ever happen.” He was dead serious, I realized. Hehadreally tried. He’d tried to be a good slave instead of a bad one.

“In this complicated modern world, who’s to say what should and shouldn’t happen?” I whispered, half-delirious.

“How morally relativist of you.”

“See what you’re doing to me?” I asked. “Anyway, you know what else I imagined? Your tongue—tasting me. Here.” I curled and uncurled my fingers shyly.

“Do you want me to taste you now?”

I nodded since my voice was no more than a whimper. But that was all he needed. His hands rounded my thighs, pulling them apart. I lay back, gasping as his tongue rimmed the outer lips of my pussy, followed by a swift motion in a straight line up to my clit, knowing exactly where he was going. But then, he always had, hadn’t he?

All I could see, still, was the hand, its wrist chained in servitude, gripping his cock, secretly and guiltily, in some private corner of the basement, liquid trailing out with every stroke, then exploding at the mental picture of me.Me, Louisa as I’d been, at the desk, pencil in hand, my camisoles and pajama pants and wild hair and graphite-stained fingers, my haughtiness and clumsy compassion. Little knowing that upstairs, I’d been shattering myself forhimashe’dbeen, arms and abs, shredded and carved under cast-off T-shirts, the wit, the bold insolence, the absolute refusal to fail, or allow me to. Of us, then so ordinary and so inviolable.

And now.

I drew in a desperate gasp at the thought. Stretched back on the bare concrete pool deck, I buried my fingers in his golden strands, inhaling ecstatically at every staccato dip of his mouth as he played me like the virtuoso he was, in so many ways.

“Can you taste it?” I murmured. “Oh, can you taste just how much I want you?”

His response was not much more than a deeply satisfied hum of his own.

But the truth was, I wanted him deeper. I wanted to open up completely for him, to give him a space where he didn’t have to hide his desire, to let him take me like a man deserves to take a woman, wholly, bodily, completely unbowed and unashamed. Something I suspected he had never had.

Yes, in that way, even he was a virgin.

“And I want—”

He raised his head suddenly, his eyes liquid gold in the light of the torch behind me, his rosy mouth blushing beautifully in the torchlight. “What do you want? Tell me, Lou.”

“I want to feel you inside me,” I burst out. “All of you.” My hands snaked desperately up over his shoulders as if I could take in all his massive maleness into me in one breath.

“Knackeg,”he said.

“What the hell did you just call me?” I asked with a shocked giggle.

---