Page 43 of Never Bound

“It’s a few days too early for the Leonids, but maybe we can catch one or two,” he explained.

“I think Milagros is your girl for that,” I teased him, giggling as I covered my head with a pillow.

“Oh, come on,” he said, grabbing my wrist and almost bodily dragging me to the edge of the bed. “How could anyone sleep when there’s astronomy happening?”

He was already partially dressed, and he handed me my shorts and tank top, helpfully gathered from where I’d shed them by the side of the pool. I rubbed my arms. “It’ll be freezing out there.”

“Here,” he said, handing me the fleece-lined jacket I’d given him earlier.

I shook my head.

He looked around, grabbed the quilt off the bed, and threw it over my shoulders, then put the jacket on himself. “Better?”

I nodded.

“Then come.” Outside, he grabbed a padded lounge chair and pulled me, rolled up in the quilt, down to his lap. I settled the quilt around us both. We were both momentarily startled by movement in the foliage, but a pounce told us it was just Millie the cat, prowling on top of the wall.

“Shit,” he said, looking up. He started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just—I was kind of thinking this would be romantic,” he said sheepishly. “The list of things I like about the desert isn’t particularly long, but one of them is the clear skies. But not tonight. With these clouds, we can’t even see the moon, let alone a meteor.”

“Hey, we’re not in the basement, the pantry, or the garbage,” I said, secretly melting at the fact that he’d even been thinking about that. “Which already makes it the most romantic night we’ve ever had.” I added a kiss for good measure, and he seemed to relax.

“Maeve was the only one who’d ever do this with me,” he remarked idly. “Stargaze, I mean.”

My ears pricked at this spontaneous reveal about his past, which didn’t come often. “Late at night, when we weren’t supposed to be out, I’d try to memorize the planets and constellations by color and shape—had to be right, you know me. But she’d just make up whatever she wanted—fairies, mermaids, unicorns. Then she’d really push it, throwing in kittens and puppies, spinning these wild stories that made no sense except to her. Drove me nuts. I’d call her an idiot and storm inside.”

I couldn’t stop myself from giggling. “That’s actually kind of funny. I’m sorry.”

“Looking back, yeah, it was,” he admitted. “Of course, after I lost touch with her, I would have given anything to hear those stories again. Especially because after they sold us, I didn’t see the stars for three years.”

I sucked in a gasp.

“The floodlights,” he explained quietly, dropping his gaze. “They were too bright.”

God. And to think I’dresistedthis, even playfully. I’d stay out here with him foranotherthree years if I had to, to make up for every night he’d lost.

“You don’t talk about her,” I said softly. “You came all this way to find her, and yet you don’t talk about her.”

“I could talk about her all night if you got me going,” he said. “But I guess I’ve learned not to. It’s just another thing they can use against you. Family, I mean.”

“How?”

He tilted his head up and stared intently at the sky like he believed he could see whatever was behind the clouds if he stared at it hard enough. “They sold her when they sold me. They didn’t have to. She didn’t do anything wrong. But they did, just to punish me. If they’d kept her, at least I’d know where she was. But they didn’t even want me to have that.” His eyes were glassy and far away now, completely lost in memories. “She’d had me and our mom her entire life, which is more than most of us get, and now, in an instant, she was alone. She was only eleven. Another thing I’ll never forgive myself for.”

“It’s insane that you blame yourself for that, you know,” I said.

“I know. But I do.”

“She’ll be okay,” I said with conviction, stroking my thumb across his knuckles and squeezing. “Maeve is a survivor, I can tell. It runs in the family.”

That was enough to get him to smile. “My mom used to say that, too.”

I went silent for a moment. “I used to send him messages, too.”

Confusion crossed his face briefly before it dawned on him: therealreason I’d started crying when I’d made my impassioned speech to Erica about his need to find Maeve himself. Not like I normally needed a reason to cry, but, well. I’d been holding the tears in for this for a long time. Frankly, the only thing I’deverheld them in for.

---